There’s nothing worse than being taken for granted by a romantic partner.
Men are often good at putting in lots of effort in the beginning of a relationship.
They’ll do whatever they need to do to win you over, but they aren’t always great at keeping the romance alive as time goes on.
Guys always do their best to impress a girl on a first date, but once the man in your life thinks you aren’t going anywhere, he may stop making you his priority.
For example, once he gets comfortable having you in his life, he might stop organizing nice dates.
If your boyfriend (or the guy you’re seeing) has stopped showing you he cares, or has even become inconsiderate, you’ll start to wonder whether your relationship is worth it.
You’ll ask yourself whether there isn’t someone out there who would treat you better.
If a guy is losing you and you want to give him a final chance to step up his game before you call it quits, send him one of these texts.
Hopefully, he’ll stop being complacent once he realizes you have one foot out the door.
33 clever ways to make him realize he’s losing you over text
- I can’t hangout this weekend because I’m going out with the girls.
- Sorry it took me so long to respond. I was busy.
- Did we have plans organized for this weekend? I’m sorry if we did, I’ve just arranged to do something with my friends.
- I’m not sure how long I’m going to live in this city, to be honest. I think I’m catching the moving bug again.
- Sorry I couldn’t make it to your football game today. How did it go?
- I’m going to take myself out to dinner on Friday because I need to get dressed up, go out, and be around people…so I won’t be coming over to your place.
- You can come if you want, but I’m going with the whole gang, so I won’t even notice if you don’t come.
- It doesn’t make much difference to me whether we hangout or not…I’m having a great time watching Netflix at home anyway.
- Oh no…was that today? It totally slipped my mind; I got so distracted talking to the new guy at work. He’s had such a fascinating career.
- If you’ve decided that you don’t want to move in together, I’ll have to think about whether I see this relationship going the distance or not.
- You know I want children, so hearing you say you don’t is hurtful. I think we might need some time apart.
- After what you did to me, I think I need some time alone. I think we should take a break.
- You betrayed me and I need to have a long, hard think about whether this relationship is right for me.
- The way you spoke to me was unacceptable and I’m not sure I’ll be able to move on from it.
- Your behavior embarrassed me, and I have to think about whether you can give me what I need from a partnership.
- The one thing I won’t stand for is dishonesty, and you’ve lied to me one too many times. I need you to come clean about everything if this is going to work.
- Your words cut me deep, and you haven’t apologized, so I don’t want to see you right now.
- I was so offended by what you did that it makes me wonder whether we’re even compatible.
- How could you do that to me? I’m in shock.
- I can’t be the only one putting in the effort to make this long-distance thing work.
- I need more from you, otherwise I don’t see much point in us being together.
- What do we actually gain from this relationship if we never see each other?
- I feel like I’m much more invested in organizing plans than you are, which makes me wonder why I bother to travel so far to see you.
- You know what they say about long-distance right?
- Do you even care about coming to see me?
- There are plenty of people here who I could see myself dating happily, so if we’re going to stay together long distance, you need to make it worth my while.
- Are you only staying with me long distance because it feels like a safe option for you?
- I won’t be available this week because I’m so swamped with work.
- How good does this dinner I cooked myself look?
- I have such a busy week socially, so I can’t do anything with you this weekend.
- What do you think of this dress?
- I’ve had such a good week being away on vacation with my friends. How has your week been?
- [Stop responding to his texts]
If you want your boyfriend (or the guy you’re in a complicated situation-ship with) to up his game, you need to show him what his life would look like without you.
Maybe he has stopped asking you out on dates altogether and instead just sits on the sofa all weekend.
Or even worse, maybe you’ve noticed him flirting with other girls or sending fire emojis in the comment sections of their Instagram posts.
Whatever the case, if you can make your boyfriend think that you don’t care about him anymore, he will be forced to consider what would happen if the two of you ended things.
If he loves you, he’ll be devastated by the thought of having to respond to a breakup text from you. This will scare him into making more of an effort.
If you’re wondering how to make him think you don’t care anymore, look no further than these sample texts.
1. I can’t hangout this weekend because I’m going out with the girls.
It is natural to want to be around the guy you like all the time. But if you feel like he’s become too comfortable with having you around, you need to deprive him of all the benefits he gets from being with you.
To make him think you don’t care, make yourself unavailable to him. If he feels like he is dating a girl who is always busy because you always have other plans, he’ll start to feel like you don’t need him.
If he sees that you don’t need him, he’ll realize he’s losing you.
This will make him make more of an effort, for example by asking for dates in advance and taking you out to exciting places again.
2. Sorry it took me so long to respond. I was busy.
The best way to make a guy worry that you don’t care about him anymore is to leave him unread for hours (or even days) at a time.
If he knows that you’ll rapid-fire back responses the second he gets in touch, he won’t feel the need to reach out as much because he knows you are a sure thing.
If you don’t respond when a guy calls you “baby” or says something else affectionate, you’ll make him wonder whether he’s done something to offend you.
If he’s been worried that aren’t thinking about him at all, he’ll be eager to chat when you eventually do write back to him.
3. Did we have plans organized for this weekend? I’m sorry if we did, I’ve just arranged to do something with my friends.
Another great way to pretend you don’t care about a guy is to “forget” dates.
If you double-book yourself and then tell the guy you’re seeing it’s because you couldn’t remember whether you had made plans or not, he’ll think you don’t care.
Be careful with this tactic though…it can come across as quite harsh or mean.
You should only do this if the guy you’re seeing is repeatedly not showing you affection or is doing something else that causes you to seriously question your relationship.
4. I’m not sure how long I’m going to live in this city, to be honest. I think I’m catching the moving bug again.
If you want to test whether a guy cares about you, make it seem like you are making big life decisions without factoring him into them.
Guys often freak out if you start mentioning how long you should date before marriage, but they’ll become equally offended if you talk about moving city without consulting them.
Make your boyfriend face his own hypocrisy by casually mentioning your plans to leave the city you both live in.
This will surely trigger an emotional reaction that will lead him to be more expressive about how he feels about you.
5. Sorry I couldn’t make it to your football game today. How did it go?
If you know a guy has gotten used to you showing up for him whenever he wants you to, you can make him think you don’t care anymore by stopping that behavior.
Does your guy have a weekly football game that you usually go watch? If so, just don’t show up.
Not seeing you on the sidelines will make him realize that he could lose you if he doesn’t put more effort into the things you care about too.
6. I’m going to take myself out to dinner on Friday because I need to get dressed up, go out, and be around people…so I won’t be coming over to your place.
Imagine this: you meet a guy. He starts constantly texting you and, even though you are cautious, he convinces you to date him.
He is a gentleman on the date and talks about all sorts of big things like how he can see a future with you, etc.
Then, after you’ve been together for six months, he suddenly stops putting in any effort.
Gone are all the fancy dinners and weekends away, and instead he just sits on the couch watching sports.
To jog his memory about how your relationship started, make him worry you don’t care about him by announcing you’re taking yourself out to dinner.
He’ll realize that you’re missing something and aren’t happy with how things are going.
He’ll know that if he wants to keep you, he needs to make a change.
Sitting at home alone and thinking about you, all dressed up and at a nice restaurant, will cause him to reflect on how lame he’s being as a partner.
7. You can come if you want, but I’m going with the whole gang, so I won’t even notice if you don’t come.
A great way to make a guy think you don’t care is to tell him he can come to plans you’ve arranged if he wants to, but it won’t make a big difference to you to have him there.
We all want to think that our partners care about us and enjoy being around us.
If it seems to him like you could take him or leave him, he’ll worry that you may be about to end things.
He’ll therefore put extra effort into keeping you happy.
8.It doesn’t make much difference to me whether we hangout or not…I’m having a great time watching Netflix at home anyway.
This is another way to get a guy to stop umming-and-ahhing and take charge of things.
If a guy is being cryptic about whether he wants to make plans or not, tell him you don’t care what he decides because you’re quite happy on your own.
If he thinks you don’t need him to enjoy your evenings, he’ll wonder whether you’ll eventually realize that you don’t need him at all.
9. Oh no…was that today? It totally slipped my mind; I got so distracted talking to the new guy at work. He’s had such a fascinating career.
Okay, okay, I know: It’s never really a good idea to make someone jealous.
But if you’ve tried every other avenue and your boyfriend just isn’t showing you the attention and affection you need, then you may have to use this tactic as a last resort.
As much as you might hate playing games, if you need to test whether a guy cares about you, you may have no other choice.
Telling him about a conversation you had with another man will make him worry that you could develop feelings for someone else.
Smart texts to make him realize he’s losing you because he hurt you
When a guy you are dating makes a mistake, you probably want him to worry that he’ll lose you over it.
If he feels you slipping away and knows that it is his own fault, he’ll put extra effort into trying to keep you around.
Maybe you’ve heard that your man was trying to get a date on Tinder with someone else, or he has told you openly that he doesn’t want children even though he knows you do.
Or maybe, he has been rude and insulted you in a way you find unacceptable.
Whatever the guy you’re seeing has done to hurt you, you can make a point by showing him that you won’t tolerate his bad behavior.
Here are some perfect texts to make a guy worry that you are going to break up with him because he has done you wrong.
10. If you’ve decided that you don’t want to move in together, I’ll have to think about whether I see this relationship going the distance or not.
If you’re talking about how soon to move in together and a guy tells you that he can’t see the two of you living together, tell him that’s a dealbreaker for you.
When you are in a long-term partnership with someone, decisions about living situations, marriage, and children all need to be talked through together.
It isn’t fair for one person to draw a hard and fast line without first discussing their position on a key issue with their partner.
If a guy tells you he will never want to live with you, you might feel like he’s pushing you away.
You can show him he might lose you by telling him you are hurt and that you need a bit of space.
11. You know I want children, so hearing you say you don’t is hurtful. I think we might need some time apart.
Relationships are all about compromise. But there are some issues that are too important to meet someone halfway on.
If you know you want children, don’t give up that dream just because the guy you’re dating doesn’t want them.
Give yourself all the time you need to think about this highly personal matter.
And if a guy tells you he’d never have children with you in a way that feels pointed or mean, tell him you need space.
This will make him realize that you’re serious about having children and that he might lose you if he doesn’t change his mind.
12. After what you did to me, I think I need some time alone. I think we should take a break.
If a guy cheats on you or betrays you in some other way, don’t be afraid to show him he might lose you.
Telling him that you need space will bring home to him that he might have lost his chance with you by doing what he did.
He’ll start wondering how to apologize to a girlfriend over text as soon as he reads this message.
13. You betrayed me and I need to have a long, hard think about whether this relationship is right for me.
Nothing cuts as deep as betrayal. And whether the guy you’re seeing has been unfaithful or has lied to you about something else, you’ll feel like the rug has been pulled out from under you.
This message will surely make him say sorry; then, it will be up to you to decide how to respond to an apology when you’re still hurt.
14. The way you spoke to me was unacceptable and I’m not sure I’ll be able to move on from it.
Being disrespected is a terrible feeling, especially when the disrespect is coming from someone who is supposed to love you.
Show him he risks losing you by texting him that you aren’t sure whether you’ll be able to move on from what he did.
15. Your behavior embarrassed me, and I have to think about whether you can give me what I need from a partnership.
It is normal to care about how your boyfriend carries himself.
It may not be a problem if he has to try to not being awkward on a date. After all, awkward can be cute, and who doesn’t want to date a nerd? But if he is rude and offensive to people in a public setting, you might have to reconsider your relationship.
If a guy’s behavior has made you feel uncomfortable, show him he might lose you if he can’t get his act together.
16. The one thing I won’t stand for is dishonesty, and you’ve lied to me one too many times. I need you to come clean about everything if this is going to work.
It’s no surprise that many people list honesty as one of the most valuable characteristics in a partner.
Knowing you can trust the person you’re with to tell you the truth will save you from a world of confusion and heartbreak.
If a guy lies to you, send him this text to show him he is running the risk of losing you.
17. Your words cut me deep, and you haven’t apologized, so I don’t want to see you right now.
It is one thing to make a mistake, reflect on one’s behavior, and then apologize for it.
It’s another altogether to behave badly and then be in denial about the fact that what one did was unacceptable.
If the guy you’re with has a hard time reflecting on his own conduct, show him he might lose you by telling him that you don’t want to see him because he hasn’t apologized.
18. I was so offended by what you did that it makes me wonder whether we’re even compatible.
We don’t have to have the same politics as the person we’re dating, but we do generally have to share the same values.
When someone says or does something that offends our sense of justice or contradicts our ethics, it is only natural that we struggle to see past it.
If you find yourself in this position, tell your partner that their behavior has made you question your compatibility.
19. How could you do that to me? I’m in shock.
Betrayal is a deeply personal thing, both in the sense that what feels like a betrayal to us is different for everyone and in the sense that it hurts us to our core.
If you genuinely cannot understand how a guy could treat you the way he has, you can tell him you’re shocked by what he’s done.
Being sent the word “shocked” in a text will make your boyfriend realize that he is losing you. He’ll know that if he wants to keep you, he needs to put in some serious work.
The best texts to make him realize he’s losing you in a long-distance relationship
If you are in a long-distance relationship, you’ll surely be familiar with the look of concern people give you when you tell them this.
People are skeptical of the idea that two people can remain faithful to each other and fulfilled by one another if they aren’t seeing each other regularly.
And while there are couples who defy the odds and make it work, many others fall victim to the miles between them.
In order to make long-distance relationships last, both people have to be putting in effort.
To show your boyfriend that things aren’t going to work out if he doesn’t try harder, send him one of these texts.
20. I can’t be the only one putting in the effort to make this long-distance thing work.
You don’t have to be passive aggressive to get the point across that your guy is running the risk of losing you.
Long-distance relationships require the active participation of both partners.
If your boyfriend isn’t doing his fair share, tell him he needs to try harder.
21. I need more from you, otherwise I don’t see much point in us being together.
What’s the point of being with someone if they aren’t making you feel supported and cared for?
If the guy you’re with is wondering how often to text your girlfriend, he should be aware that it depends on how much you see her in person.
If you’re hardly ever together, he needs to be engaging more through his phone.
This text shows him he risks you ending things if he doesn’t start bringing more to the (digital) table.
22. What do we actually gain from this relationship if we never see each other?
This text directly questions the point of your relationship.
Your boyfriend may not have realized how close to the brink you are.
Sending him this will bring home how much work he needs to do if he doesn’t want to lose you to the distance between you.
23. I feel like I’m much more invested in organizing plans than you are, which makes me wonder why I bother to travel so far to see you.
It can be painful when there is an imbalance in a relationship.
If you are the one who is more dedicated, you need to prompt your boyfriend to put more effort in by telling him that you feel like the relationship isn’t 50–50.
24. You know what they say about long-distance right?
To make a guy think twice about taking you for granted in your long-distance relationship, ask him this question over text.
He’ll know exactly what you’re referring to: that they don’t work.
Studies have found that only 31% of relationships survive long-distance.
This text will make him think about what would happen if your relationship doesn’t end up being one of the 31%.
If he wants to be with you badly enough, he’ll up his game.
25. Do you even care about coming to see me?
If you’ve reached the point of exasperation with your long-distance boyfriend, send him this message.
This confronting question will force him to consider whether he wants things to work out between you two or not.
26. There are plenty of people here who I could see myself dating happily, so if we’re going to stay together long distance, you need to make it worth my while.
Again: making someone jealous should only be used as a last resort.
But if you know there are other options out there for you and don’t want to waste your time with someone who only half cares, send him this text.
27. Are you only staying with me long distance because it feels like a safe option for you?
For whatever reason, we all go through phases of struggling to feel motivated.
This can be in relation to our work, our fitness, and even our romantic lives.
During these periods, we tend to stick to safe options.
Continuing with a current relationship is of course less work than having to impress someone new.
If you’re worried your partner is only with you because your relationship has become low maintenance, ask him this question via text.
He’ll understand that you’re having doubts and that he risks losing you.
Great texts to make him realize he needs you
Usually, when a guy gets too comfortable in a relationship, it isn’t because he doesn’t want to be with you, it’s because it has all become too easy.
He gets all the benefits of being your boyfriend without the effort of making sure you’re happy.
The trick to get him to up his game is to start to withdraw the nice things he has come to take for granted.
So, how do you make someone miss you when you’re in a relationship?
Here are some texts designed to make him realize that he needs to be careful about getting too comfortable taking the backseat.
28. I won’t be available this week because I’m so swamped with work.
The key thing is to remove your boyfriend’s access to you. Unfortunately, it is human nature to want what we cannot have.
If you are overly available, your partner won’t have to work for the rewards being with you brings.
To show him what the consequence of losing you would be, make him realize how much he likes being with you by forcing him spend the time you ordinarily spend together alone.
29. How good does this dinner I cooked myself look?
Showing you boyfriend all the nice things you’re doing for yourself without him will make him see how much positivity you bring to his life.
Something as simple as sending a picture of your meal when you know he’s probably at home eating cereal will make him realize how much he wants your company (and all that comes with it).
30. I have such a busy week socially, so I can’t do anything with you this weekend.
Making yourself unavailable is the best way to show your partner what it would feel like if things didn’t work out between you.
If you’re pulling away because he has been taking you for granted, he’ll surely want to remind you how good things can be between you.
Hopefully this text will lead him to make some nice romantic gestures.
31. What do you think of this dress?
Seeing you looking great in a dress and having to respond to a picture from a girl who isn’t with him and is sure to be impressing other people, will cause him to panic.
And ultimately, a little jolt to the system is exactly what he needs to get his act together.
32. I’ve had such a good week being away on vacation with my friends. How has your week been?
This is the perfect text to send your lazy boyfriend if you’ve been away with your friends.
If you know that his week has pretty much consisted of work and watching TV, send some great snaps of you and your besties at the beach.
This may trigger him to want to do more exciting things with you.
33. [Stop responding to his texts]
Nothing says “unavailable” like literally being unavailable.
A lot of guys put in minimal effort and then reach out just to make sure that they have tabs on you.
In other words, even if they aren’t planning on doing anything together, they’ll use 🙃 to flirt a little just so they can know where you are and what you’re doing.
By not responding, you’re showing him that knowing what you’re up to is a privilege that comes in exchange for real care and effort.
Hey, it’s me, Steven. Dating and relationships have always fascinated me. On Dategosu, you will find my best tips to make sure your next date is a great success!