Let’s say you meet a girl. You like this girl. She seems to like you back. You ask her out. She says she’d love to, but she can’t go on a date then because she’s busy.
Does this sound at all familiar? If so, you’re probably struggling with the question of how to date a girl who’s busy all the time.
No matter how much you like a girl, you will only be able to develop a romantic relationship if you can spend time with her.
However, it is also crucial that you don’t put too much pressure on her to hang out, or she may start to feel smothered.
The reality is that she can only spend the time with you that she has available.
If she is busy with work or with other commitments, try to be understanding when she isn’t free and appreciate that she has such a full and vibrant life.
How to date a girl who’s busy all the time
- Give her space
- Focus on the quality of the time you spend together, not the quantity
- Don’t sacrifice too much of your own time
- Be understanding if she can’t meet up
- Help her de-stress
- Don’t take it personally that she’s busy
- Don’t question her schedule
- Surprise her with a special date when she’s free
- Don’t play games, just be clear about how you feel
1. Give her space
If you are dating a girl who is busy all the time, give her space. Only text her when you know she is free. If you know she has been doing something, let her text first when she finishes so that you know she wants to talk. If she tells you she can’t hang out, don’t act annoyed and don’t pressure her to change her plans.
If you are dating someone who has a busier schedule than you, keep in mind that while you might be sitting around thinking about her, she will be preoccupied with whatever it is she is currently doing.
This imbalance can make it tricky to know how often to text her. This is always a difficult question. Even people in relationships struggle with the question of how often you should text your girlfriend.
While you might enjoy having pretty much constant contact, this would be far too much for her when she is trying to focus on getting her work done, spending time with her family and friends, or focusing on a hobby.
While you shouldn’t feel like you can never reach out, do give her space to breathe and to enjoy the things she is doing without having to always be on her phone.
The reality is that if she feels smothered, she will not be as keen to talk to you.
Giving her space gives her the opportunity to miss talking to you, which means she will be more likely to reach out of her own accord.
2. Focus on the quality of the time you spend together, not the quantity
If you are dating a girl who is very busy, you won’t be able to spend that much time together. So, instead of wishing that you could spend more time together, try to focus on making the time that you do spend together extra special. Do your most to appreciate the good moments and don’t stress about the fact that they are few and far between.
There is no question that it is better to spend ten good minutes with someone than a thousand bad ones.
In fact, sometimes, knowing that your time with the girl you are dating is restricted can make the short periods you do get to spend together that much more enjoyable.
Because you know that your time is limited, you will be sure to value it more. If you knew that you could spend all your time with the girl you’re dating, then you probably wouldn’t give any of that time your full and undivided attention.
So, if the times you do spend in each other’s company are good, then you have nothing to worry about so far as the health of your blossoming relationship is concerned.
3. Don’t sacrifice too much of your own time
Just because there are very specific times that the girl you are dating can spend with you doesn’t mean you have to spend all that time with her. If those times clash with times that you would be working, spending time with friends, or even developing a hobby, make sure you aren’t just forgoing everything else in your life to spend time together.
For one thing, if you sacrifice too much of your time and seem to be constantly available, the girl you’re interested in may take it as a bit of a red flag. She may think that you don’t actually have any genuine passions or interests of your own, which can be a turn off.
Furthermore, in the event that things don’t work out, or the girl you’re seeing turns around and tells you that she is actually “not ready for a relationship,” then you will have annoyed your friends and sacrificed the quality of your work for no reason.
4. Be understanding if she can’t meet up
There is nothing worse than a passive-aggressive guilt trip. If you ask the girl you’re dating to go out for a meal with you and she cannot because she has a prior commitment, the last thing you should do is make her feel bad about saying no. Tell her you completely get it and tell her you’ll talk to her when she is next free.
Simply tell her that you’re sad you won’t see her but that you hope she has a great time doing whatever it is she is doing.
Then, don’t lounge around sulking. Stay busy yourself! Call up a friend and suggest grabbing a drink or a meal to catch up. Or join a pick-up sports game. Or read a book! The options are endless.
The important thing is that you don’t make her feel bad for being unavailable. If you make her feel guilty for something she can’t control, she will probably start to resent you.
5. Help her de-stress
If the girl you’re dating is always running around with a million different things on her mind, use your time together to help her relax. Suggest calm dates like a spa day, a trip to some hot springs, or you cooking her dinner at your place. If she’s always out and about, make her feel like you are her calm, safe haven.
If you go on a few dates with a girl and realize that she literally always has something to do, the best thing you can do is make the time you spend together relaxing for her.
Cooking her a delicious meal or taking her out to a movie are great ways to ensure she gets some downtime, even though she may not know how to seek it out herself.
Stress and health are intimately linked, so even though she might not realize it, you helping her relax is a way of looking after her best interests. And if you want things to progress, what better way to show her your affection than to take care of her.
6. Don’t take it personally that she’s busy
The worst thing you can do when you are dating a busy girl is overthink her limited availability. If you feel like you are constantly getting shut down when you ask her to go on a date, don’t take it personally. The fact that she has other things she must do does not mean she doesn’t like you or that she wouldn’t rather be spending time with you.
If she’s busy, she’s busy. There’s literally nothing she can do about it.
Whether she’s attending a practice session for a sports team or is working late or is at a friend’s bachelorette party, she has to be there.
Even if she is choosing to hang out with a friend instead of going on a date with you, keep in mind that she has already agreed to that hang out.
If she were to cancel on her friend just because someone asked her out, that would make her flaky and a bad friend.
So just accept that she is a vibrant, bubbly person with a full and exciting life. Know that if she likes you, she’ll see you when she can, and that dating a fun, busy girl is much better than the alternative.
7. Don’t question her schedule
If the girl you’re dating tells you she’s busy and can’t meet up, don’t say anything that suggests you don’t believe her. If she feels like you are constantly interrogating her about what she’s doing, she will start to resent your attitude. Instead, just tell her to have a good time.
If you are dating a girl and you seem skeptical of what she tells you about her plans, you are telling her that you don’t trust her.
At such an early stage, that can absolutely seem like a red flag. Instead, just accept that she has plans and can’t make it.
If she keeps talking to you and showing an interest in seeing you, you can rest assured that she likes you and will make an effort to hang out the next time she’s free.
8. Surprise her with a special date when she’s free
Since the time you have together is limited, establish a time when you she is available and schedule a special, surprise date. If she is always working that means she is always making decisions and occupying a position of responsibility. Take that weight off her shoulders and organize something exciting that requires zero effort from her.
Very few people don’t like it when someone plans a surprise for them. Knowing that someone has gone out of their way to make us feel good is a really nice thing.
Planning a special date is basically another way to tell someone you appreciate them. This is even more true when the person you are planning the surprise for is often overwhelmed by having to make plans and organize things.
She may not even know how much she would like to be surprised by someone until she is.
Some ideas for what you could do for a date night include a night at a spa hotel, a camping trip (if she’s outdoorsy), an overnight trip to her favorite city, or even just a homemade picnic dinner on the beach.
9. Don’t play games, just be clear about how you feel
If you have gone on a few dates with a girl and you enjoy her company, don’t hesitate to make it clear that you would like to continue seeing her. If she is a very busy person, she doesn’t have that much time to spare, which means she won’t want to waste it on someone who isn’t serious. Tell her you see potential for a future together.
If the girl you are dating feels uncertain about your commitment to her, she may feel that it isn’t worth her time to continue seeing you.
Girls who are busy are usually also girls who know what they want and know how to get it.
They will appreciate dating someone who has this same quality, whether that relates to their work or their dating style.
Without smothering her, make clear to the busy girl you’re dating that you like her and would like to get to know her better when she has the time.
Hey, it’s me, Steven. Dating and relationships have always fascinated me. On Dategosu, you will find my best tips to make sure your next date is a great success!