“I just want to be friends” is one of the oldest lines in the dating book.
In fact, it’s so common that most people can’t even say it without adding, “I know everyone says that, but I really mean it.”
So, when does this line get used? There are two basic scenarios.
The first is when two people are getting to know each other and one person clarifies that they don’t want things to develop into a relationship.
The second is when two people have been friends forever and one of them confesses that they have feelings for the other.
Whatever situation you find yourself in, hearing that someone isn’t into you can be tough.
Whether you went on an unsuccessful date or declared your feelings to a close friend only to be friend-zoned, there’s an ideal response for you somewhere in this article.
38 Smart replies when a girl says she just wants to be friends
- No worries. I’ll leave the ball in your court, and you can text me if you want to hang out sometime.
- I appreciate your honesty. Being friends sounds good.
- Absolutely…can we just forget I ever said anything?
- No hard feelings, I totally get it.
- It’s a shame we didn’t click the way we hoped, but I’m glad you told me how you feel.
- Thanks for being so frank.
- Not beating around the bush is one the main things I look for in a friend. So yes, we can definitely be friends.
- I’d like that too…and let’s actually hang out and not just say we’re going to.
- I’d really like us to be friends too.
- I know everyone says the whole “friends” thing…but I genuinely feel like we get along really well!
- There are worse things in the world than being friends with you.
- I feel like we could have a really wonderful friendship.
- I’m so glad you said that. I feel like we really connect platonically but not romantically.
- You took the words right out of my mouth. I’m so glad we feel the same.
- That’s a relief! I’m so glad you only want a friendship too.
- What does “friendship” mean to you?
- Well, that’s better than nothing, right?
- Oh, that’s a shame. I was hoping this might be something more, but don’t worry.
- Oh, okay. In the future, you might want to be a bit more careful about the impression you’re giving people. I genuinely thought we were pretty much dating.
- Like…friends with benefits?
- Okay…but can we at least be flirty friends?
- Is that just a way to soften the blow or do you actually want to stay in touch?
- I thought we were feeling the same things the last time we hung out…was I wrong?
- Do you mind if I give you a call to talk this through? I’m a bit confused and this feels like a conversation that might be easier on the phone.
- Ehm, this is a bit awkward. I don’t like you as anything more than a friend.
- Just so we’re clear, I never wanted more than friendship.
- Why are you saying that? I’m so confused. Aren’t we friends now?
- I think you might have misread the situation; I’m in a relationship anyway and don’t have any romantic interest in you.
- I’m glad you were honest with me, but I think I already like you a bit too much to just be friends. It’s probably best if we don’t talk for a while.
- I can’t lie, I’m really disappointed. I’d honestly rather not talk anymore if that’s okay with you.
- Ah, too bad. I think it might just be awkward to try to hang out as though nothing has happened between us.
- I have enough friends…
- I think trying to be friends might be flogging a dead horse.
- I’m hurt, so I’d rather we had a break from one another than try to put on a good face and force a friendship.
- Sorry, but given how bad things have been between us recently, I’d rather we just cut ties.
- I think we might just not be compatible, point-blank, even as friends.
- It was fun hanging out, but I think we should call it a day altogether. I wish you the best!
- Thanks for your transparency…maybe we should shoot for “friendly” rather than “friends” though?
Great replies to “I just want to be friends” if you are on the same page
Okay, so a girl has just told you that she only wants to be friends. Take a deep breath and give yourself a moment to think about how you feel.
Who knows, you might find that you’re surprisingly okay with that suggestion.
That could be because you weren’t romantically interested in her either or because you think a friendship sounds nice…after all, she’s probably a cool girl.
I mean, that’s presumably why you liked her in the first place.
Whatever the circumstances that leave you feeling pretty okay with receiving an “I just want to be friends” text from a girl, you’ll find a suitable reply in the list below.
1. No worries. I’ll leave the ball in your court, and you can text me if you want to hang out sometime.
If you can, you should respond to texts that put you in the friendzone by sounding as calm and collected as you can.
If you become emotional, you’ll risk coming across as overly invested or a bit of a hothead.
Avoid blaming the person who is letting you know they don’t want to keep dating you.
Instead, tell them you respect their decision and that you’ll be taking a backseat in your relationship moving forward.
The main point this text conveys is that you are open to the idea of friendship but that you won’t be the one reaching out.
2. I appreciate your honesty. Being friends sounds good.
At the end of the day, we can’t control who we’re attracted to.
Romantic compatibility is so complicated that, no matter how hard leading scientists and psychologists try, they can’t seem to crack its formula.
And no matter how many ways to impress a girl on a first date you’ve tried, you can’t force chemistry.
The best thing anyone can do if they aren’t interested in someone who they’ve been dating is to tell them.
If a girl lets you know that she isn’t feeling it, you should let her know that you appreciate her being honest with you.
After all, in the modern age, a lot of people ghost each other. Having the courage to tell someone you aren’t interested is a big deal.
3. Absolutely…can we just forget I ever said anything?
There are only a limited number of ways to respond when someone asks you out. The answer is going to be some variation of either “yes” or “no.”
If you have asked out a close friend and she has replied that she “just wants to be friends,” this is a good thing to say to her.
Saying, “Absolutely” assures her that your friendship won’t be impacted by your confession.
At least, not as far as you can help it.
Asking whether the two of you can just forget that anything was said is a way of saying you’d like to just go back to how things have always been.
4. No hard feelings, I totally get it.
This is one of the great texts to write to a girl after a first date if she tells you she doesn’t want to pursue things further.
In any situation where a girl tells you early on that she only wants a friendship, try to say as little as possible.
There’s no need to overdo it and this brief but clear message is perfect.
5. It’s a shame we didn’t click the way we hoped, but I’m glad you told me how you feel.
If you have been told that you didn’t make the impression you had hoped to on a first date, you might be a little hurt.
Maybe you feel like you know how to be a gentleman on a date and can’t understand what went wrong.
If you feel rejected, you might not want the girl who’s turning you down to know whether you liked her or not.
This response is wonderfully ambiguous and allows you to keep your feelings private.
6. Thanks for being so frank.
If you’re offended by a girl saying she doesn’t feel the same way as you, you don’t have to send a long and friendly response.
The most important thing is that you acknowledge that you’ve received her text.
That will leave no doubt about the fact that you’re both on the same page.
7. Not beating around the bush is one the main things I look for in a friend. So yes, we can definitely be friends.
Humor is a great way to dissolve tension.
This message makes light of the fact that a girl has just told you in no uncertain terms that she isn’t interested in you.
Joking that you like friends who know how to get right to the point is a reference to how uncompromising she’s been about how much she doesn’t like you romantically.
If you don’t laugh, you cry, right?
8. I’d like that too…and let’s actually hang out and not just say we’re going to.
Because “I like you as a friend” is such a common way of getting out of semi-romantic commitments, people often say it with no intention of actually being friends.
However, if you think the girl saying it you would genuinely like to meet up and you want to too, send her this text.
9. I’d really like us to be friends too.
Are you conflict-averse? Hey, that’s not a bad thing. It’ll save you all sorts of hassle in relationships, including having to worry about what to say to a girl who is mad at you.
Tending to avoid negative conversations means you’ll probably be able to get a date worth keeping easily, since your happy-go-lucky attitude is sure to attract the right kind of gal.
If you prefer to stay positive, you can avoid mentioning the relationship that might have been building between you and the girl you’re talking to.
Instead, just let her know that, moving forward, you’d be very happy to be friends.
10. I know everyone says the whole “friends” thing…but I genuinely feel like we get along really well!
Acknowledging how often people say, “let’s be friends” without meaning it and saying you’d like to be different will give you two a good chance of actually becoming friends.
11. There are worse things in the world than being friends with you.
This is a nice way to put a positive spin on a girl friend-zoning you.
There’s no need to be offended. You can rest easy knowing that if things had been meant to be, your feeling would have been reciprocated.
If this sounds like a good approach to you, send this kind message to let the girl you’ve been meeting up with know it’s all good that she isn’t into it.
12. I feel like we could have a really wonderful friendship.
Sometimes two people meet and immediately realize they’re soulmates. And that doesn’t necessarily mean they have to be wondering how long to date before marriage.
In fact, it doesn’t even mean they have to feel like romantic soulmates.
Clicking with someone platonically can be just as exciting.
You might arrange a date on Tinder and realize as soon as you meet up that the two of you are two peas in a pod…even though you aren’t attracted to each other.
If you find yourself in a similar situation, this is a great reply to a girl saying you should be friends.
13. I’m so glad you said that. I feel like we really connect platonically but not romantically.
If you are on the same page as a girl that you’ve been seeing and you both know you won’t go the distance, consider yourself lucky.
When a girl you aren’t into messages you to tell you she’d like to just be friends, send her this text.
See how easy dating can be when there is clear communication?
14. You took the words right out of my mouth. I’m so glad we feel the same.
This is another great way to let a girl know that you also don’t see a future for the two you.
Once you’ve established that neither of you wanted more than friendship from each other, you can stop worrying about hurt feelings.
15. That’s a relief! I’m so glad you only want a friendship too.
Here is another text you could send if you have been worried that the girl you went out with might want more from you than you want from her.
Now that she’s told you she doesn’t like-like you, you can put those fears aside.
Perfect replies to “I just want to be friends” when you wanted more
If you thought things were going really well with a girl and feel confused when you hear she doesn’t feel the same, you might be struggling with what to say to her.
Don’t be ashamed if you feel like your pride has been wounded.
It’s never nice to hear that someone you like doesn’t want the same things you do.
That said, try to curb any desire you feel to send a vengeful or mean text.
You might come to regret it.
If you’re searching for the perfect reply to send a girl you like who just wants to be friends, you’ve come to the right place.
Here are a few sample messages you can get inspiration from.
16. What does “friendship” mean to you?
There is nothing worse than feeling like you have been used.
If you’ve been in a situation-ship that closely resembles a relationship with a girl for a while and she suddenly says she isn’t into it anymore, it’s fair to be frustrated.
What should you reply when someone says, “I’m not ready for a relationship” when they’ve effectively been treating you like their partner for quite a while?
If you want to get your message across without having to spell it out, you can simply ask what their definition of “friendship” is.
This implication is that, so far, the lines have all seemed pretty blurry.
17. Well, that’s better than nothing, right?
If you’re quite sad about ending the romantic aspect of your relationship with a girl, you can make it clear that you would have liked to keep seeing each other.
18. Oh, that’s a shame. I was hoping this might be something more, but don’t worry.
If everything has been developing well between you and a girl, you might be sad to hear she doesn’t want to keep seeing you.
Maybe you’ve gotten used to responding to compliments from a girl and are going to miss those sweet “good night” texts she sends. If so, let her know you think it’s a shame that she wants to end it.
19. Oh, okay. In the future, you might want to be a bit more careful about the impression you’re giving people. I genuinely thought we were pretty much dating.
Modern dating often operates along unclear lines, which can leave people feeling hurt.
If you feel like a girl has led you on, you don’t have to keep this to yourself.
Call her out on being unclear and let her know that you think she’s been reckless with your heart.
Telling her she might want to be more careful in the future is a good way to say that you feel she hasn’t been very considerate of you.
20. Like…friends with benefits?
You shouldn’t try to convince someone to date you if they don’t want to.
That said, the dynamic between two people is never black and white.
Only you and the girl you’ve been seeing know what the situation is between you.
If a girl tells you she doesn’t want to keep seeing each other, but you know she won’t mind you joking around, you can send this funny and flirty text.
21. Okay…but can we at least be flirty friends?
Every bond is unique. And a lot of situation-ship-come-friendships exist in a kind of relationship no-man’s land.
They oscillate back and forth between dating and friendship like a metronome.
If you and a girl have been friends with benefits for a long time and she gets in touch to cut things off, you can assess just how seriously she means it with this message.
If she replies in no uncertain terms and lets you know she means it, do make sure that you knock off the banter and respect her boundaries.
22. Is that just a way to soften the blow or do you actually want to stay in touch?
You might feel like the offer of friendship is being presented to you as a kind of consolation prize.
If you want to question how genuine the girl you’re talking to is being when she suggests being friends, you can reply with this text.
23. I thought we were feeling the same things the last time we hung out…was I wrong?
Do you feel like something has changed between you and the girl you like since you last saw each other?
If she was just as enthusiastic as you and you identified all sort of signs that a date went well, you might be wondering why she’s suddenly changed her tune.
Respond to her text telling you she just wants to be friends by asking her why things are different all of a sudden.
24. Do you mind if I give you a call to talk this through? I’m a bit confused and this feels like a conversation that might be easier on the phone.
Maybe you were pretty seriously involved with a girl and were always wondering how many days in advance to ask for a date because you couldn’t wait to see her.
If she cuts you off out of the blue, you’ll probably be pretty distressed. And it may be difficult to get closure via text.
Do you feel like you’re owed an explanation for the sudden and abrupt end of your…well, what was it?
If so, send the girl you were dating this text to see if you can iron things out over the phone.
Ideal responses to a girl saying, “I just want to be friends” if you don’t like her
When someone assumes something about how we feel, it’s hard not to be defensive. And that defensiveness is only enhanced when that presumption is paired with rejection.
If a girl tells you she only wants to be friends and you weren’t into her in the first place, you might want to say, “Hang on a minute…I don’t like you.”
However strong your urge to set her straight is, take a moment to compose yourself before responding.
Ideally, you should show as little emotion as possible so that it doesn’t seem like you’re upset that she doesn’t like you.
Not sure how to go about clarifying your feelings without being rude?
These sample responses to a girl saying she just wants to be friends might help.
25. Ehm, this is a bit awkward. I don’t like you as anything more than a friend.
Don’t be afraid to mention that a situation is awkward. If you feel like a girl is assuming things about your feelings that aren’t reflective of reality, give it to her straight.
Let her know you don’t want anything more than a friendship.
26. Just so we’re clear, I never wanted more than friendship.
If you would like to emphasize that there has been a misunderstanding, you can start your text with, “Just so we’re clear…”
27. Why are you saying that? I’m so confused. Aren’t we friends now?
If the overwhelming feeling you have is one of confusion, you can try to get the girl you’re chatting with to spell out why she’s telling you she just wants to be friends.
At the root of your question is, “Why do you think I like you?”
28. I think you might have misread the situation; I’m in a relationship anyway and don’t have any romantic interest in you.
If you have a girlfriend and aren’t sure why some girl is telling you she only wants to be friends, you can send this text to set the record straight.
Clever replies to being friend-zoned if you want to cut ties
Being told that a girl only wants to be friends with you isn’t fun, no matter what the circumstances are.
If you’ve been dating a woman and were readying yourself to respond to “I love you” the first time, you might feel cut off at the knees when she says she only likes you as a friend.
Ultimately, just because a girl tells you she wants to be friends with you doesn’t mean you have to accept that offer.
If you are too hurt to enjoy a platonic relationship, or if you simply don’t like her that much because she’s treated you badly, use one of these replies to cut ties.
29. I’m glad you were honest with me, but I think I already like you a bit too much to just be friends. It’s probably best if we don’t talk for a while.
A lot of relationship experts talk about having an emotional CV. What’s that, you ask?
We spend a lot of time thinking about the qualifications on our professional CVs, but we often neglect to think about the skills we’ve developed in our personal life.
Emotional intelligence skills are extremely valuable, both in business and in relationships.
One of the most important EI skills is the ability to set boundaries.
This text is a prime example of using clear communication to limit someone’s access to you in order to protect your peace.
30. I can’t lie, I’m really disappointed. I’d honestly rather not talk anymore if that’s okay with you.
This is another stellar example of how to set boundaries after a girl says she just wants to be friends.
In addition to being clear about what kind of relationship you want, this text also allows you to convey how disappointed you are.
To get closure, we often have to feel like we’ve gotten everything we wanted to say off our chests.
If you’re reading through these sample responses and find that this one strikes a chord, it’s probably a sign that letting a girl know you’re hurt will be vital to your healing process.
31.Ah, too bad. I think it might just be awkward to try to hang out as though nothing has happened between us.
The more honest you are about how you feel, the more the girl you’re talking to will respect you.
If you can’t imagine hanging out with her now that the romantic side of your relationship has been shut down, this is a great message to send her.
32. I have enough friends…
There’s leading someone on and then there is dishonesty.
If a girl has lied to you about her intentions, you don’t have to be friends with her.
That’s the great thing about friendships…you only have to have them with people you really like.
33. I think trying to be friends might be flogging a dead horse.
If you have a long history with a girl and have been seeing each other on and off for a while, you might not think being friends is the best idea.
The idiom “flogging a dead horse” means wasting your time doing trying to achieve something that will never succeed.
If you think the possibility of a friendship is dead, you can incorporate this idiom in your response.
34. I’m hurt, so I’d rather we had a break from one another than try to put on a good face and force a friendship.
This is a frank and honest response to the suggestion of a friendship that you don’t want to be in.
35. Sorry, but given how bad things have been between us recently, I’d rather we just cut ties.
How would you respond to someone calling you dramatic? Or saying other unkind things to you?
Or just generally not showing you a lot of respect?
It’s unlikely you’d want to be friends with them. If you don’t think you’d like to keep hanging out with the girl you’re talking to, you can send her this response when she asks if you just want to be friends.
36. I think we might just not be compatible, point-blank, even as friends.
This might sound a little harsh when you first read it.
However, the girl you’re talking to has essentially told you she doesn’t think you’re compatible but is still suggesting that you be friends. That doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.
If you know that one of you will soon be wondering what to respond when a friend ghosts you because you won’t really want stay in touch, you can save yourself the drama with this text.
37. It was fun hanging out, but I think we should call it a day altogether. I wish you the best!
This is a neutral-to-friendly reply that makes sure there are no bad feelings between you two but conveys that you aren’t interested in keeping up a friendship for the sake of it.
38. Thanks for your transparency…maybe we should shoot for “friendly” rather than “friends” though?
If you feel like the girl that you’re talking to isn’t being fully honest when she suggests being friends, because, let’s face it, you weren’t friends to begin with, send her this.
Hey, it’s me, Steven. Dating and relationships have always fascinated me. On Dategosu, you will find my best tips to make sure your next date is a great success!