The first rule when it comes to getting a guy to like you is that you can’t be too available to him. After all, we always want what we can’t have.
Make the guy you like think that you could take him or leave him by showing him that you have a full and exciting independent life. Equally, don’t give away too much information about your life too soon.
Leave him in the position of wanting to learn more about you without having access to everything he would like to know.
Basically, if you make him wonder where he stands with you, you’ll seem like a more desirable reward.
Now, it should be said that not all guys work like this. Many men would be quite happy with you just responding when someone asks you out by being honest, being as available as you want to be, and not playing games.
However, time and time again, even men we think would be above falling for the “hard to get” girl, are intrigued by anyone who acts aloof.
If you like a guy and are sick of always being the person putting in the hard work, here are 28 texts to send to get a guy to chase you.
28 texts to send a guy to make him chase you
- I probably won’t see you as much anymore now that I’ve taken on this new job.
- Did you have anything else important to say? If not, I’m going to put my phone away.
- Hey, I haven’t heard from you to confirm our date, so I’ve made other plans. Maybe some other time!
- That guy from work asked me to go for dinner on Saturday, so I think I’ll give him a chance.
- I don’t let people in easily.
- I’m not sure, I have to check my schedule to see if I’m around.
- Are you seriously trying to flirt with me?
- I’m going to be moving in the summer anyway, so there’s not much point in us going out.
- I like you a lot, but I just don’t have time to pursue anything more than friendship for now.
- Sorry, I have to cancel our date on Friday, something’s come up. Rain check?
- Hey, sorry, I just saw this. I’m so bad at responding to texts.
- Sorry I didn’t respond to your text yesterday. My friends arrived for a party just as I got it, so I got distracted.
- I don’t know, what do you think?
- I could ask you the same thing.
- How would you feel if I told you that I have no idea?
- Sometimes, I wonder whether I should just pick up and move to a different country.
- I’ll be away all summer but reach out again in the fall if you want.
- I don’t know, I might be there. I have to see how my week plays out.
- There’s a chance I could be in France then, so I’ll let you know closer to the time.
- I was out late yesterday, so I probably won’t be around this evening.
- I have an event on Saturday, so I won’t be able to make it to your party.
- I have to tell you a funny story when we hangout next.
- I learned something new about you from a friend today…very unexpected.
- I think the best date I ever went on was to that rooftop Italian place on Main Street.
- I have a surprise for you!
- What can I say, I’m not easily impressed.
- Ugh, the barista at my favorite coffee place just gave me his number. Now I feel like I can’t go back there without it being awkward.
- I’m out in a bar on Vernon Street. If you find me, I’ll buy you a beer.
Ingenious texts to turn the tables and make him chase you
Everyone wants to be able to say yes to a date without sounding desperate. The easiest way for that to happen is for the person pursuing us to make it clear how interested they are in us.
There are a lot of guys out there who skate (or, rather, date) by based on their looks or reputation, and don’t have to do too much to get female attention.
Do you have your eye on a man who fits that description? The only way forward is to turn the tables and get him to start putting in the effort instead of you. And the only way that is going to happen, is if you aren’t already putting in all the effort needed to make things go smoothly.
Here are some great texts that cleverly reset the dynamic of your relationship so that he is suddenly the one who has to prove to you that he’s worthy.
1. I probably won’t see you as much anymore now that I’ve taken on this new job.
If you ever find yourself watching a TV show about real estate, you’re guaranteed to hear at least one person say, “location, location, location.” The implication, of course, is that a property’s location is the most important thing when it comes to its value.
Well, the dating equivalent of “location, location, location,” is “unattainable, unattainable, unattainable.” How many times have you heard someone lament their habit of falling for people who aren’t emotionally available?
The less sure a guy is that he could have a girl if he wanted to, the more he will want to impress her on a first date.
2. Did you have anything else important to say? If not, I’m going to put my phone away.
It’s simple economics: the more supply there is, the less demand there will be.
If a guy has access to you any time he wants, he won’t ever feel that there’s a shortage that he must use up while supplies last.
If your time is in short supply, on the other hand, the guy you’re talking to will always make the most of his opportunity to chat.
If you are only available to talk to him sometimes, your guy will start to find himself waiting around to see whether he’ll get a message from you.
If he doesn’t, you’ll be on his mind anyway, because he’ll be wondering where you are and why you aren’t writing to him.
This text establishes important boundaries that will stop the guy you like from taking you for granted.
3. Hey, I haven’t heard from you to confirm our date, so I’ve made other plans. Maybe some other time!
If the guy you’re seeing just can’t seem to show you that he knows he’s lucky, take matters into your own hands.
Want to hear a guy say he appreciates you? You need to make him see what his life would look like without you. Show him that you need more from him.
If he isn’t taking the initiative to plan, confirm, and be a gentleman on a date with you, don’t do the work for him. Tell him you’ve made other plans.
Nine times out of ten, this will make him change his behavior and chase you for another date.
4. That guy from work asked me to go for dinner on Saturday, so I think I’ll give him a chance.
Part of being unattainable is being involved (or at least showing interest in) other people.
If you give a guy exclusive access to you right away, he won’t feel like there’s much point in putting work into trying to win you over. Why should he, after all, when he already has you?
To avoid becoming just the token girl in his life, show him that you have other options and that there are guys out there who would be more than happy to switch places with him.
Telling him you are going on a date with a coworker is a great way to make him jealous.
5. I don’t let people in easily.
A guy will chase you if there is a challenge that he must overcome to get you.
Whether we are talking about another guy or your own defenses, knowing that there are obstacles between what he has and what he wants will motivate him to put in effort.
If a guy asks why you don’t date much, you can tell him you don’t let people in easily.
This text also works if you are turning a guy down for a date and letting him know he’ll have to try harder than he has been if he wants a place in your life.
6. I’m not sure, I have to check my schedule to see if I’m around.
If you want someone to chase you, don’t be a sure thing. I mean, a dog doesn’t play fetch with an unmoving ball, right?
People only chase one another when there is a chance the other person is going to get away or is otherwise hard to pin down.
Being unattainable means not always being around. If a guy asks you to go on a second date, show him that you aren’t just there for the taking by telling him you have to check your schedule.
7. Are you seriously trying to flirt with me?
If a guy is trying to flirt with you but you know that he’s probably saying the same thing to ever other girl in his contacts, you can call him out on it.
Flirting only works if you’re smooth about it. Being laughed at for trying to flirt is an ego-bruiser. And what do people with bruised egos do? They try to prove themselves.
By shooting down a guy’s first lame attempts at flirtation, you’re actually getting him to raise his game, focus on you, and put effort into impressing you.
8. I’m going to be moving in the summer anyway, so there’s not much point in us going out.
There’s nothing like putting miles between you and a guy to get him to realize that he liked you all along.
If you’re planning on relocating, tell the guy you like about your plan to move and see if it encourages him to behave differently.
Once you’ve moved, there’s a high chance you’ll be responding to a guy texting you that he misses you. After all, absence makes the heart grow fonder.
9. I like you a lot, but I just don’t have time to pursue anything more than friendship for now.
There’s nothing like the friendzone to make a guy work hard to impress you.
Telling a guy you only see a friendship for the two of you will undoubtedly make him question why you don’t think he is a date worth keeping.
In order to prove to you that he could be the one you date before getting married, he’ll probably pull out all the stops to get a chance with you.
10. Sorry, I have to cancel our date on Friday, something’s come up. Rain check?
One way to get a guy to chase you is to impress upon him that he’s dating a girl who is always busy.
By cancelling a date, you show the person you’re seeing that you aren’t under their thumb and that you have a lot going on in your own life.
Additionally, by changing your plans with him because “something has come up,” you’ll make him wonder what exactly that thing is.
11. Hey, sorry, I just saw this. I’m so bad at responding to texts.
The best tip of all for getting a guy to chase you? Leave his messages unread.
Whether you wait a few hours or a few days before you finally get back to him, you’ll make him wonder whether it’s you whenever his phone buzzes. If you don’t talk for a few weeks, he’ll probably start to wonder what to do when a friend ghosts you.
Of course, you don’t want to be rude. But leaving a text unopened for a little while will create a question mark in the guy you’re seeing’s mind that will motivate him to try harder.
12. Sorry I didn’t respond to your text yesterday. My friends arrived for a party just as I got it, so I got distracted.
Another tactic when it comes to leaving a message unread is to respond the next day and explain that you had plans the night before and so weren’t looking at your phone.
The more evidence you can provide to show that you have a full and fun life, the more likely the guy you’re texting is to see you as a desirable person to be with.
Clever ways to be mysterious to a guy over text
You probably know how much thought goes into responding to “maybe” from a guy, or how much getting a dry text from a guy makes you wonder what’s really on his mind.
When we don’t really know what’s going on with someone, we think about them a lot more.
And that’s ultimately the point of being mysterious when you’re first getting to know someone.
You don’t want them to forget about you, and they’ll be more likely to forget about you if they know exactly what’s going on with you. If they have to wonder how you are, what you’re doing, or why you haven’t given them a clear answer, they’ll spend a lot more of their mental energy on you.
The more someone is intrigued by you, the closer they’ll want to get, because they want to solve the nagging questions that they have about you in their head.
Here are some perfect mysterious text messages to send a guy to get him to chase you.
13. I don’t know, what do you think?
The key rule to being mysterious is never to give a straight answer.
There will surely be a time when it is appropriate to answer a question about yourself with, “I don’t know, what do you think?”
If a guy you like asks you a personal question about yourself or your personality, turn it back on him to force him to express what he feels about you.
14. I could ask you the same thing.
Instead of answering a question you don’t want to answer, you can always say, “I could ask you the same thing.”
This will probably make the guy you’re talking to feel a little nervous. And nervousness is a good thing when it comes to piquing someone’s interest. No one gets nervous if they don’t care about the outcome of a situation.
15. How would you feel if I told you that I have no idea?
To appear mysterious, you have to be cryptic. That is, you have to keep your cards close to your chest.
Don’t respond to a compliment from a guy by becoming overly gushy and sentimental; play it cool instead.
Similarly, don’t feel like you have to give definitive answers to questions about yourself and your future plans. If a guy asks where you see yourself in five years, ask him how it makes him feel that you don’t know what you want.
Uncertainty is a necessary condition for adventure. Being someone who doesn’t have a tick-box plan that involves moving in together, etc. will seem exciting to a guy who likes the chase.
16. Sometimes, I wonder whether I should just pick up and move to a different country.
The more unknown a quantity you are, the more the guy you’re speaking to will want to chase you to figure out what on earth is going on in your head.
Telling him that you can’t rule out that you might just uproot yourself at any time will surely make him curious.
And while curiosity killed the cat, the cat had some great times before it died. Any guy with a sense of adventure will chase you if you show him that you’re mysterious and that your motivations aren’t straightforward to understand.
17. I’ll be away all summer but reach out again in the fall if you want.
Telling a guy that you’re flirting with that you’re going away for the summer is sure to raise about a million questions in his head. Where are you going? Who will you be with? How long are you going for? Where will you be living?
But of course, he’ll appear pretty uncool if he just lurches into a full-on interrogation of your summer plans.
This means he’ll have to choose one or two questions. But nothing fuels a chase like unanswered questions.
This text is sure to have him wondering whether it would be okay for him to ask for a date in advance for when you’re back.
18. I don’t know, I might be there. I have to see how my week plays out.
Being hard to pin down and always referring to other plans certainly makes you appear mysterious.
If a guy asks you whether you’re going to be at a social event that you’ve both been invited to, you can be non-committal about whether you’re going. The key thing here is not to say why you might not make it.
Leave your other plans mysterious so that the guy you’re talking to has a reason to chase you for answers.
19. There’s a chance I could be in France then, so I’ll let you know closer to the time.
If you’re talking to a guy who is generally the GOAT at playing hard to get, you can beat him at his own game.
Whenever you’re asked if you’re going to be at an event or party, say there’s a chance you might be somewhere exciting.
The more outlandish and far way the places you name are, the more this guy will wonder what kind of person he’s talking to.
Of course, you can’t just make things up. But, within reason, you can embellish your plans to make your life sound as exciting and full as possible.
20. I was out late yesterday, so I probably won’t be around this evening.
Vague plans are no good to you. The saying goes that “If he wanted to, he would.”
When it comes to dating, truer words have never been spoken.
Don’t settle for a “maybe I’ll see you when we’re both out on the town tonight.” If you have any kind of vague plans, always cancel them in advance.
Show the guy you like that if he actually wants to spend time with you, he’s going to have to ask you out properly and prove himself worthy by making sure the date goes well.
21. I have an event on Saturday, so I won’t be able to make it to your party.
To get a guy to chase you, start declining his invitations and giving him excuses for why you can’t be there that make you sound mysterious and sophisticated.
Send this text and then just see how long it takes for him to get back to you to ask what the event is. If he texts you back, he’s definitely intrigued.
Smart ways to get a guy to chase you using male psychology
Wondering how to use male psychology to get a guy to chase you?
First of all, you can’t really convince someone to date you. But that doesn’t mean you can’t coax them into a position where they are more ready to give things between you two a chance.
If you know that you’d be a great match for the guy you’re talking to, you can try to use how he thinks to get him to realize that you would be worth the chase.
If you’re texting him, this will take a lot of forethought. Instead of trying to figure out the entire male brain by yourself in a day (something neuroscientists aren’t even close to doing!), have a look at these sample texts and read about the intuitive male psychology behind them.
Who knows, you may just be about to read a sample text that will turn your life around by getting the guy of your dreams to chase you.
22. I have to tell you a funny story when we hangout next.
Men who like the chase tend to like figuring out the answers to things. As soon as they are presented with a problem that has a solution, they want to solve it.
As soon as they know that there is a story you want to tell them, they’ll want to hear it.
If you genuinely have something to tell your crush, don’t give it away over text. Make them wait until they see you in person.
Dangling the carrot reward of a hilarious story will surely make the guy you’re seeing chase you for a date…if only so he can hear it.
23. I learned something new about you from a friend today…very unexpected.
If you want to up the ante with the “I have something to tell you” card, make the thing you have to tell the guy you’re seeing about him.
Of course, you’ll actually have to have something to tell him, so don’t just send this text to get a reaction if you have nothing to say.
24. I think the best date I ever went on was to that rooftop Italian place on Main Street.
Anyone who is into the chase is generally a competitive person.
The reason that some guys go for girls who are unavailable to them is because they want to prove that they can win them over.
Why do you think there is such an emphasis on people trying to get out of the friendzone?
Use the psychology of men and masculinity to trigger the competitive side of a guy by telling him about the best date you’ve ever had. Naturally, he’ll want to beat it, which will likely lead him to asking you out and planning something extra special.
You can go along with it and say, “Aww” to whatever he’s organized, pretending you don’t know that you really orchestrated the whole thing.
25. I have a surprise for you!
Guys who like the chase are also usually guys who hate surprises.
Or rather, they like them, but they have to know what they are right away.
This message will surely get at least a follow up text, if not an immediate request to make plans.
26. What can I say, I’m not easily impressed.
“Challenge accepted,” is what certain types of men will think immediately upon getting this text.
If you are dating a Leo Man, this text will have them doing their utmost to impress you.
Anyone who is charismatic and outgoing, but who cares deeply about what people think about them, will want to impress you if you tell them that you aren’t easy to impress.
27. Ugh, the barista at my favorite coffee place just gave me his number. Now I feel like I can’t go back there without it being awkward.
Telling the guy that you’re speaking to that other people have expressed an interest in you will bring home to him that you aren’t to betaken for granted.
You still need the excitement of his attention, and a fire emoji (🔥) text every so often.
Show him that you know you have other options by telling him about the guys who ask you out. Tell these anecdotes like they’re just another story about your day and see how much more quickly he starts to respond to your texts than he was before.
28. I’m out on Vernon Street. If you find me, I’ll buy you a beer.
If you want a guy to chase you, offer him a literal chase. Tell him the area you are in and then ask him to come find you.
Of course, you’ll have to offer him a reward if he finds you. The typical alpha male brain will go bananas trying to prove itself capable of meeting the challenge.
Hey, it’s me, Steven. Dating and relationships have always fascinated me. On Dategosu, you will find my best tips to make sure your next date is a great success!