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12 Slick Ways to Respond to a Breakup Text

12 Slick Ways to Respond to a Breakup Text

Rejection is a hard thing to swallow and being broken up with is one of the most painful kinds of rejection.

On top of that, being broken up with by text instead of in person adds insult to injury.

No one likes hearing that someone doesn’t want to be with them anymore. 

Whether things have been on the rocks for a long time and you knew your relationship was coming to an end, or whether you feel completely blindsided, you will still want to make sure you respond to a breakup text in the best way possible. 

Here are a few suggestions for how to approach this difficult situation.
 

12 ways to respond to a breakup text

  1. I know that things haven’t been good for a while, but I feel like you at least owed me the courtesy of a phone call.
  2. I really would have preferred to have this conversation in person. I’m quite hurt that you have decided to breakup with me via text.
  3. We both knew this was coming, so I respect your decision to end it. Can I give you a call sometime today to talk about it? 
  4. That’s fine. I don’t think either of us has been happy for a while. 
  5. I understand where you’re coming from. I think it’s a shame that you didn’t want to have this conversation in person, but I guess we don’t have much to say to each other anymore. 
  6. Well, I guess it’s over then. Personally, I’m fine with it and think it’s for the best. 
  7. It’s a shame things didn’t work out, but thank you for voicing how you are feeling. 
  8. Wow, this is really out of the blue. What happened? And why are you telling me this over text?
  9. I’m really heartbroken by this. And I can’t believe you didn’t think you owed me the respect of breaking up with me in person. 
  10. Your text really shocked me. I thought we were doing so well? 
  11. I can’t believe you’re breaking up with me over text. Don’t you think that’s really inconsiderate? 
  12. I can completely respect your decision to end things, even though I feel a bit blindsided. What really hurts though, is that you didn’t feel like you should at least call me to talk about it. 

 

How to respond to a breakup text when you knew the breakup was coming

Being broken up with over text is not a pleasant experience. 

However, if you’ve known for a long time that things weren’t going to work out, then receiving a breakup text won’t be all too shocking. 

That said, you may still be hurt that this is the way your (ex-)partner has chosen to communicate that they want to end your relationship. 

The best thing to do if you have been broken up with via text is to let your (ex-)partner know that even though you respect their decision, you wish they could have communicated the breakup differently.  
 

1. I know that things haven’t been good for a while, but I feel like you at least owed me the courtesy of a phone call.

 
This response acknowledges that you haven’t been happy for a while and that you are not surprised that your (ex-)partner has decided to end things. 

However, it also conveys your unhappiness about the way they decided to let you know they wanted to breakup. 

Using the word “courtesy” sends the clear message that what they have done is discourteous and disrespectful. This will hopefully make them reflect on their behavior. 

Example: 

A: I’ll be honest, I think I’m done with this relationship. I don’t want to be together anymore. 

B: I know that things haven’t been good for a while, but I feel like you at least owed me the courtesy of a phone call.
 

2. I really would have preferred to have this conversation in person. I’m quite hurt that you have decided to breakup with me via text.

 
If someone starts to have “the talk” with you over text, it doesn’t give you much choice but to participate on their terms. 

If your predominant emotion about the situation is feeling hurt that your (ex-)partner has decided to breakup over text, you should tell them you aren’t happy with the situation.  

Example: 

A: I’ve been thinking. I want to breakup. I don’t want to be with you anymore. 

B: I really would have preferred to have this conversation in person. I’m quite hurt that you have decided to breakup with me via text.
 

3. We both knew this was coming, so I respect your decision to end it. Can I give you a call sometime today to talk about it? 

 
One way to deal with being broken up with over text is to refuse to accept the terms of your breakup. 

If you suspected that a breakup was imminent, tell them you knew this day was coming, but that you would like to talk to them about it on the phone. 

Talking on the phone means they won’t be able to get out of hearing your feelings about the breakup and you will be able to get the closure you need. 

Example: 

A: Look, I think we both know this is the end of the relationship. Let’s breakup.

B: We both knew this was coming, so I respect your decision to end it. Can I give you a call sometime today to talk about it? 
 

4. That’s fine. I don’t think either of us has been happy for a while. 

 
If you are so over the relationship that you don’t really care how it ends, then you can just tell them that you’re fine with the breakup and move on. 

Acknowledging that neither of you has been happy for a while makes clear that you would also have liked to end the relationship and that you are okay with the decision. 

Why drag it on when all you want is out? 

Example: 

A: Look, I’d like to breakup.

B: That’s fine. I don’t think either of us has been happy for a while.
 

5. I understand where you’re coming from. I think it’s a shame that you didn’t want to have this conversation in person, but I guess we don’t have much to say to each other anymore. 

 
This is a great way to express that you are disappointed in your (ex-)partner’s decision to breakup over text, but don’t care enough to try to force them to them discuss it in person.

While you may wish they had approached the end of your relationship differently out of common courtesy, you may not actually want to have a long breakup chat. 

If this is the case, why not simply say that while you think it would have been better to discuss the breakup in person, you don’t have much to say to each other anymore. 

Example: 

A: I want to call it quits. This relationship isn’t working anymore. 

B: I understand where you’re coming from. I think it’s a shame that you didn’t want to have this conversation in person, but I guess we don’t have much to say to each other anymore. 
 

6. Well, I guess it’s over then. Personally, I’m fine with it and think it’s for the best. 

 
Another good way to respond if you don’t feel like trying to make your (ex-)partner have the breakup chat in person, is just to acknowledge their decision and let them know you think it’s for the best. 

This response lets them know that you are happy with the decision and that you are not sitting around wishing that the relationship would continue. 

Example: 

A: Let’s just agree to breakup. It hasn’t been working for months. 

B: Well, I guess it’s over then. Personally, I’m fine with it and think it’s for the best.  
 

7. It’s a shame that things didn’t work out but thank you for voicing how you are feeling. 

 
There is nothing worse than knowing that the person you are in a relationship with has been wanting to end it for months. 

Because breaking up with someone is not a fun thing to do, many people will just continue with relationships that aren’t making them happy to avoid having to have a difficult conversation. 

If you feel grateful that your partner has let know how they are feeling, let them know that you appreciate their honesty. 

Example: 

A: Look, I have to be honest. I don’t think I want to be in this relationship anymore.

B: It’s a shame that things didn’t work out but thank you for voicing how you are feeling. 
 

How to respond to a breakup text when you weren’t expecting a breakup

It is one thing being broken up with over text when you knew that your relationship was coming to an end. It is another thing entirely to be blindsided by a breakup text. 

If you thought the relationship was going well and were spending your spare time daydreaming about all the exciting things you wanted to do with your partner, you will probably be heartbroken if they suddenly decide to breakup with you. And over text, no less!
 

8. Wow, this is really out of the blue. What happened? And why are you telling me this over text?

 
If an (ex-)partner breaks up with you over text all of a sudden, don’t hold back. Let them know that you weren’t expecting this and ask them what happened. You are entitled to an explanation about why they have decided to end what you thought was a good relationship. 

It is also important to ask them why they are telling you this over text. If they aren’t going to give you the opportunity to discuss the breakup in person, call them out on this by asking them why something this important is being told to you in a text message. 

Example: 

A: I’ve been thinking. This is a hard thing to say, but I’m breaking up with you.

B: Wow, this is really out of the blue. What happened? And why are you telling me this over text? 
 

9. I’m really heartbroken by this. And I can’t believe you didn’t think you owed me the respect of breaking up with me in person. 

 
Unfortunately, many people still struggle with how to be vulnerable. However, if you don’t express what is going on inside, then you will bottle it up and it will start to affect your life in other negative ways. 

If someone breaks up with you in a text message, let them know that you are heartbroken about their decision. Why pretend to be okay when you aren’t? Be honest about how you’re feeling and let them know how disrespectful it is not to break up with someone in person. 

Example: 

A: Let’s just agree to breakup. I don’t want to be together anymore. 

B: I’m really heartbroken by this. And I can’t believe you didn’t think you owed me the respect of breaking up with me in person. 
 

10. Your text really shocked me. I thought we were doing so well? 

 
If you are very surprised to receive a breakup text, don’t feel like you need to respond with a long message delving into the inner workings of your (former) relationship. Instead, just let them know how are feeling in the moment. 

Two things you may want to express are your shock at receiving the text and your confusion about why your (ex-)partner wants to break up when you believed the relationship was going so well. 

Example: 

A: I’d like to breakup. This isn’t working for me anymore and I need my freedom. 

B: Your text really shocked me. I thought we were doing so well. 
 

11. I can’t believe you’re breaking up with me over text. Don’t you think that’s really inconsiderate? 

 
You may feel so angry about the fact that they’re hiding behind a phone screen while delivering you difficult news, that that is the only thing you feel like talking about. 

You don’t even have to get into why they’re choosing to breakup yet. Simply express your disbelief that they’re chosen to text about this very important issue and ask them whether they don’t think it’s inconsiderate. 

By asking them this, you are forcing them to reflect on how they are treating you. 

Example: 

A: It’s over for me. I don’t want this relationship anymore. 

B: I can’t believe you’re breaking up with me over text. Don’t you think that’s really inconsiderate?
 

12. I can completely respect your decision to end things, even though I feel a bit blindsided. What really hurts though, is that you didn’t feel like you should at least call me to talk about it. 

 
If someone sends you a breakup text and you feel more sad and hurt than angry, express how you’re feeling. Let them know you respect their decision to breakup with you. No one should be in a relationship they don’t want to be in. 

Ultimately, your (ex-)partner is doing you a favor by being honest. 

That said, express that you did not see it coming, as this will let them know the frame of mind you are in, and that you are feeling shocked by the breakup.

You can also tell them that the most painful thing is that they have texted you this information, instead of reaching out in a more personal way.

Example: 

A: Look, I’ve been thinking about us and I want to breakup. 

B: I can completely respect your decision to end things, even though I feel a bit blindsided. What really hurts though, is that you didn’t feel like you should at least call me to talk about it.

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