Look, we can’t be compatible with everyone. As much as you might like someone’s personality or admire their values, you can’t force attraction.
If a person doesn’t give you butterflies, why waste your time trying to build a romantic relationship with them? You deserve to be head over heels for the person you are with.
Another way to say this is, “If it’s not a heck yes, it’s a heck no.” Don’t pursue something that isn’t right for you out of guilt or pity.
That said, letting someone down can be really difficult, especially if you really like their company and want to stay friends.
So, how do you friendzone someone without hurting them? This article will offer you 31 smooth ways to tell someone who likes you that you aren’t into them over text without hurting their feelings.
31 great ways to friendzone someone over text
- I really enjoyed our date, but I don’t know if we’re romantically compatible. Would you still want to hang out as friends?
- We have great conversations, but I just don’t feel a romantic spark. Should we just agree to be platonic?
- We obviously get along great, but I don’t think we have that X factor. Shall we go back to being friends?
- I’ve invited some of the guys to our hangout on Saturday night. That’s cool with you, right?
- You’re like a brother to me.
- This feels like the beginning of an amazing friendship.
- It’s been so fun getting to you know better on our dates. I’m not so sure that we’re a love match, but we’re definitely a friend match, and I mean that genuinely. Could we keep hanging out, even if we stop dating?
- We have so much in common and I feel like you really get me, but I don’t think I see this going toward a relationship. Would you be open to a friendship?
- So, I know everyone always says this, but it’s not you, it’s me. You’re fantastic and caring and handsome, I think I just need to be alone for a while to work on myself.
- You’re great and you’re going to make someone really happy someday, but I’m not sure I’m ready for a relationship right now. Could we just hang out as friends?
- I think we should cancel our date. I value our friendship too much to risk messing it up by getting romantically involved.
- Get back into that friendzone you just tried to escape from.
- Dude, I love you like a brother. And I’m not talking about the way Cercei loves Jamie.
- Don’t get me wrong, you’re the most important guy in my life, but the thought of us being anything more than friends makes me feel a little queasy.
- Welcome to the friendzone, population: you.
- I hope I haven’t hurt you by saying no. But look on the bright side: You’ve just gained the best wing woman on the planet.
- *Beep beep beep* Sorry, that’s just the alert I get when someone tries to cross the friendship line without my permission.
- I think you’ve dodged a bullet, to be honest. I’m kind of a wildcard.
- Trust me, I’m just doing your mom a favor. I’d make a terrible daughter-in-law.
- Not right now. But if we’re both still single at 40, I’m in.
- Sorry, my heart has better security than the White House. There’s no way anyone’s getting in here.
- Hey, I just wanted to make sure you know that I only see you as a friend.
- You’re like the sister I never had.
- I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you, but I think I’m only looking for friendship at the moment.
- Can I ask you for advice about this girl I like?
- I can just tell we’re going to be friends for life.
- Can I introduce you to my friend Sarah? I think the two of you might really hit it off.
- I’m so glad to have a male friend like you. It’s so great to have someone to rely on who isn’t always trying to hit on me.
- Want to come over for a friend date where we eat too much ice cream in our pajamas and watch a movie?
- I don’t think a second date is in the cards for me. Thank you for a lovely evening though!
- It’s really nice of you to ask me out, but I think I’d like to just be friends.
The best ways to friendzone someone over text without hurting them
Telling someone who likes you that you don’t feel the same is hard. The most important thing is that you are kind, polite, and considerate of their feelings.
If you want to stay friends, be straightforward and rip the band aid off quickly. There is nothing worse than a long, drawn-out rejection. You should also be careful not to embarrass the person who likes you.
Where possible, avoid talking about the fact that you know they like you.
If you make it sound like you think they’re head over heels in love with you, they may think you’re being presumptuous and feel offended.
Here are a few ways you could friendzone someone over text without hurting their feelings.
1. I really enjoyed our date, but I don’t know if we’re romantically compatible. Would you still want to hang out as friends?
Image this: A guy asks you out and you agree to meet up. The date goes well and you have fun, but you still feel like something is missing.
Even though your date seemed really nice, you can’t see yourself settling down with him.
Instead of forcing yourself to give it another go and saying yes when he asks for a second date, send him this text to let him know how you’re feeling.
If you can, send it the day after your date. Sending it right after you walk away from each other might ruin the rest of his evening.
Waiting too long to send it will leave him wondering where he stands with you.
2. We have great conversations, but I just don’t feel a romantic spark. Should we just agree to be platonic?
The friendzone is obviously not a real thing. We don’t all walk around sorting people into romantic and platonic categories.
That said, there are people in our lives that we know we would say yes to a date with and others that we cannot see ourselves with in a million years.
If someone whose company you really enjoy but whom you absolutely could not ever see yourself saying “I love you so much” to asks you out, tell them no politely.
The best way to reject someone is to compliment them first.
This sample text message is great because it starts off by telling the person you’re putting in the friendzone that you really enjoy talking to them.
Then, by asking them whether you should just be platonic, you’re including them in the decision about what kind of relationship you should have in the future.
This will make them feel seen and respected and will make them more likely to want to stay friends.
3. We obviously get along great, but I don’t think we have that X factor. Shall we go back to being friends?
Do you believe in soulmates? The idea that there is one person out there who is perfect for us is a beautiful one.
That said, given how many people there are in the world, there are probably at least a few people we could end up in a happy relationship with.
And then, there are probably many, many more that we could end up in an average relationship with.
If you’re holding out hope either for your soulmate or for as close as you can get, then you shouldn’t settle for just anyone.
The fact that you enjoy someone’s company is great, but that’s what friendship is for.
You only get to be in a relationship with one person (unless your polyamorous, of course!), so protect your heart and choose wisely.
4. I’ve invited some of the guys to our hangout on Saturday night. That’s cool with you, right?
If you want to put a girl in the friendzone without embarrassing her or making her have to respond to a rejection text from a guy, you can play it cool.
Instead of coming right out and telling your friend you don’t have feelings for her, you can show her you don’t want to be with her.
If you suspect that the girl you’re meeting up with might getting ready to prep for a first date, and you really just wanted to go for casual drinks, take action.
Tell her you’re bringing some of your friends and referring to your plans as a “hangout.”
This will send the message loud and clear that you’re just not that into her.
This a great way to get out of a date without actually having to cancel your plans.
5. You’re like a brother to me.
It’s one of the oldest tricks in the book: Let someone down easy by telling them that they’re like a sibling to you.
There is no clearer rejection than being told by someone you like that you remind them of their sister or brother.
6. This feels like the beginning of an amazing friendship.
Is there someone at work that you are pretty sure wants to ask a coworker on a date…that coworker being you?
Maybe they linger around the coffee machine for a little too long when you go to get your refill.
Or maybe they are always sending you funny memes on your work Slack channel.
Whatever the case, you can pre-empt their request by telling them that getting to know them feels like the beginning of an amazing friendship.
Once you’ve let the f-word cross your lips, they’ll surely have enough sense not to ask you out.
7. It’s been so fun getting to you know better on our dates. I’m not so sure that we’re a love match, but we’re definitely a friend match, and I mean that genuinely. Could we keep hanging out, even if we stop dating?
We always go on dates with the hope that they might be the beginning of a romantic relationship. But actually, if the outcome of a date is that you gain a friend, that’s pretty cool too.
After all, it’s hard to meet new friends as an adult. And if you genuinely connect with someone and can imagine yourself bonding with them platonically as time goes on, that’s fantastic.
8. We have so much in common and I feel like you really get me, but I don’t think I see this going toward a relationship. Would you be open to a friendship?
When it comes to telling someone how you feel about them, the more direct you are the better.
There is nothing worse than sitting around playing back cryptic conversations in our heads or responding to “maybe” from a guy.
Spare the person you’re putting in the friendzone the pain of wondering how to convince someone to date you. Just tell them you’re not interested in pursuing anything romantic.
9. So, I know everyone always says this, but it’s not you, it’s me. You’re fantastic and caring and handsome, I think I just need to be alone for a while to work on myself.
If you’re turning down someone who is sensitive, make sure that they don’t take your decision to stop dating them personally by telling them that you want to work on yourself.
It can be devastating when a friend ghosts you. If you’ve been on a few dates with someone who was initially a friend, be extra careful when you call it quits.
10. You’re great and you’re going to make someone really happy someday, but I’m not sure I’m ready for a relationship right now. Could we just hang out as friends?
If you tell someone, “I am not ready for a relationship” they’ll be less likely to think that they are the problem.
Hopefully, they’ll assume that your reason for reverting to a friendship is that you aren’t in the right place to be serious about a romantic partnership.
At the end of the day, a relationship is a serious commitment that requires time, sacrifice, and dedication. Knowing that you can’t handle that shows self-awareness and your friend will respect that.
11. I think we should cancel our date. I value our friendship too much to risk messing it up by getting romantically involved.
There’s nothing worse than losing a friend because of a miscommunication about the status of your relationship.
Responding to I love you when you don’t feel the same is hard. Make sure you avoid this situation altogether by not sending mixed signals. Be clear about what you want out your relationship with all your friends.
If you aren’t sure that you’ve made the right decision by saying yes and want to cancel a date, you can tell your friend that you value your relationship too much to complicate it.
The funniest ways to friendzone someone over text
Having a friend who wishes the two of you were more than friends can be seriously awkward. One of the best ways to deal with this imbalance of feeling is to inject a bit of humor into the situation.
Making a joke out of the fact that your friend likes you and you don’t like them back is dangerous territory. Save these funny texts for people who aren’t sensitive and who have a good sense of humor.
After all, it is far better to be funny (if a little harsh) than to lead a friend on by sending them heart emojis to try to make them feel better.
That said, if you want to lighten the mood of what could otherwise be an uncomfortable chat exchange, these texts are the way to go.
12. Get back into that friendzone you just tried to escape from.
This is a funny text to send a friend who says something suggestive or flirtatious, even though they know you don’t like them.
For example, if they say, “If you give me the chance, I could show you how a real gentleman acts on a date,” you could respond by telling them to stop trying to escape the friendzone.
If they already knew they were chancing it by sending you the message they did, they were probably expecting to be beaten back. They’ll surely appreciate the funny way you’ve gone about it.
13.Dude, I love you like a brother. And I’m not talking about the way Cercei loves Jamie.
Any Games of Thrones fans here? If you have no idea what this is all about, just skip to the next response.
But if you understand that Lannister brother–sister relationships aren’t typical of most sibling relationships, you’ll know what this text is referring to.
If you and the friend you’re talking to like to geek out on all things GOT, he’ll appreciate this reference.
If you’re a guy putting a girl in the friendzone, just reverse the roles!
14. Don’t get me wrong, you’re the most important guy in my life, but the thought of us being anything more than friends makes me feel a little queasy.
Is it a long-standing joke that your closest male friend would actually like to be more than friends with you?
Well, then he won’t mind you telling him the thought of the two of you becoming romantically involved turns your stomach.
Just be careful who you send this to, as the person will have to have thick skin to take this kind of banter while being rejected.
15.Welcome to the friendzone, population: you.
Most people who try to turn what are clearly friendships into something more know that they are pushing the boundaries and are unlikely to succeed.
They tend to be a bit bold, which means they aren’t afraid of a little joke at their expense.
They know that being with you would be dating a smart girl, which is probably why they like you. And smart girls usually have a pretty witty and wicked sense of humor.
In addition to being funny though, this message couldn’t be any clearer about how you really feel.
16. I hope I haven’t hurt you by saying no. But look on the bright side: You’ve just gained the best wing woman on the planet.
This is a perfect text if you want to send a funny line that isn’t mean at all.
The joke is that even though the guy you’re speaking to has just been rejected, he’s actually gained something too: you as a wing woman.
Showing him that you are committed to remaining close friends and that you’d like to help him find someone will mean a lot.
17. *Beep beep beep* Sorry, that’s just the alert I get when someone tries to cross the friendship line without my permission.
This is a good response if the person you’re talking to says something particularly forward.
Send this text as a response to someone asking you out when there’s really no chance you were ever going to say yes.
Showing that you are not to be messed with and that you know how to stick up for yourself will show the try guy in your life that you aren’t kidding when you say no.
18. I think you’ve dodged a bullet, to be honest. I’m kind of a wildcard.
This is a funny, self-deprecating text to send the person you are putting in the friendzone.
It adds a lighthearted mood to the conversation and shows them you aren’t going to make things awkward just because they’ve told you they like you.
19. Trust me, I’m just doing your mom a favor. I’d make a terrible daughter-in-law.
The friction that often exists between mothers- and daughters-in-law is legendary.
If you turn down a friend, joking that their mother will surely be relieved is a funny and unexpected thing to say. They’ll appreciate how easygoing you’re being about the whole thing.
20. Not right now. But if we’re both still single at 40, I’m in.
Ah the age-old pact between friends about ending up together if neither person finds the one.
If you are great friends with someone and just aren’t romantically interested in them, you can let them down easy by making a “if we’re single at 40” pact.
The idea behind the (usually unserious) arrangement is that if neither person manages to settle down with a partner by a certain age, the two of you can go it together.
21. Sorry, my heart has better security than the White House. There’s no way anyone’s getting in here.
You can always joke that the fact that the reason you’re “friendzoning” someone is that you have defenses as robust as the Great Wall of China.
Whatever national landmark you use and however you describe the security or walls around it, your point will come across loud and clear. Basically, you’re not open to letting anyone in at the moment.
This text is a funny way to tell someone that vulnerability is not in your vocabulary, and that you’re not willing to change that.
How to friendzone a girl over text
Have you been texting a girl for a while and feel like you need to make sure she knows that you only see her as a friend?
It can be easy to get our wires crossed when we’re communicating via text message.
A girl might place a lot of weight on a message you sent her that you didn’t even think twice about.
Whether you’re talking to a girl you’ve known for years and aren’t interested in, or you have been dating a married woman and want to call it off, these sample texts are here to help.
22. Hey, I just wanted to make sure you know that I only see you as a friend.
If you want to be crystal clear about your feelings for a girl, you can put her in the friendzone by literally telling her you see her as a friend.
Once she’s received this message, there’s no question that she’ll back off any advances she was previously making.
23. You’re like the sister I never had.
Again, there’s no bigger turn-off than being told you remind someone of their sibling.
If you want to “friendzone” a girl without having to explicitly tell her that you don’t like her, this is the way to go.
24. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you, but I think I’m only looking for friendship at the moment.
Have you been dating someone you shouldn’t be, for example a woman who is married to someone else? Get yourself out of that messy situation by telling her you only want to be friends.
This would also be a great message to clarify the status of your relationship with someone you met up with after they responded to “What’s up?” on Tinder. If you have realized that what the two of you share isn’t going to go the distance, let her know.
25. Can I ask you for advice about this girl I like?
If there isn’t already a TikTok trend “tell me you don’t like me without telling me you don’t like me,” there should be. And sending this text should feature in the top-trending video.
Asking a girl who likes you for advice about another girl is a highly effective way to friendzone someone without having to tell them that you don’t want to be with them.
26. I can just tell we’re going to be friends for life.
This just isn’t something a guy would say to a girl if he saw the potential for a relationship with her.
No one who likes someone talks to them about long-lasting friendship.
How to friendzone a boy over text
If you’re a girl with a friend who you’ve always suspected wishes the two of you were more, you’re in a tricky position.
You enjoy their company, so you’d like to spend time with them, but equally, you don’t want them to get the wrong idea.
The friendzone phenomenon and how we talk about the difference between platonic and romantic relationships is complex.
But what it ultimately comes down to is this: the more clearly you communicate what you want from any relationship, the better that relationship will be.
If you want to text a guy to tell him that the two of you don’t have a romantic future, have a look at these sample messages and see whether any of them would work for your situation.
27. Can I introduce you to my friend Sarah? I think the two of you might really hit it off.
There is literally no better way to friendzone a guy than suggesting they go on a date with one of your friends.
28. I’m so glad to have a male friend like you. It’s so great to have someone to rely on who isn’t always trying to hit on me.
One of the best ways to pre-empt being asked out by a male friend is to tell them you’re glad that they aren’t hitting on you.
Once they hear this, they’ll want to prove you right and show you that they are friends with you for the right reasons.
29. Want to come over for a friend date where we eat too much ice cream in our pajamas and watch a movie?
Another way to show a guy that you aren’t into him is to ask him on a friend date. He’ll know straight away that the plans the two of you are making are not romantic ones.
Even though you’re already calling it a friend date, make sure the plans you have don’t involve doing anything overly “date-y”. Pajamas and ice cream are much less suggestive than wine and candles.
Making plans to eat too much food together will show him that you aren’t interested in impressing him.
30. I don’t think a second date is in the cards for me. Thank you for a lovely evening though!
If you went on one date with a guy and have decided that you two are not destined for marriage and a family, tell him you aren’t interested in pursuing things further.
It can be awkward to say no to a second date, but it is important that you don’t just continue seeing someone out of guilt.
By thanking the guy you’re turning down for a lovely evening you are showing him that you don’t harbor any ill feelings toward him and that you are just being honest.
31. It’s really nice of you to ask me out, but I think I’d like to just be friends.
Letting someone down easy isn’t actually that hard.
The most important thing is that you acknowledge that they have gone to the effort of expressing interest in you.
Tell them you appreciate their offer to take you out, and then say you’d like to be friends.
If you’re just being truthful about how you feel, they certainly won’t hold your honesty against you.
Hey, it’s me, Steven. Dating and relationships have always fascinated me. On Dategosu, you will find my best tips to make sure your next date is a great success!