Part of modern romance is constantly trying to figure out how to express your interest in someone without sounding too eager.
If you have ever lost hope and felt like there might not be anyone out there who’s right for you, you know how wonderful it is when you finally meet someone you really like.
Once you’re crushing hard though, it is natural to worry that you will have a literal heart attack if they ask you out.
Try not to be too concerned about sounding too eager when you accept an offer of a date.
A simple, “Yes, I’d like that,” usually suffices as a response when someone asks you out (and you can save your happy dance for when you’re alone again).
However, if you really want to make sure you come across cool, calm, and collected when your crush asks you out on a date, here are some helpful tips to help you say yes without sounding desperate.
How to say yes to a date without sounding desperate
How to Say Yes to a Date without Sounding Desperate
- Take a deep breath and make sure you’re saying yes for the right reasons.
- Smile calmly but don’t look overexcited.
- Say, “Yes.”
- Tell them you are happy they asked.
- Wait for them to suggest a concrete plan.
- Work out the details.
- Tell them you are looking forward to getting to know them better.
- Tell them you’ll see them at the agreed place and time.
- Don’t text them until your date.
Keep in mind that since the person you’re speaking to is asking you out, they are hoping you will say yes.
That said, they will feel more excited to meet up with you if you play it cool when you confirm your interest.
If you are giggling like a schoolgirl or puffing out your chest like a gorilla, the person asking you out might start to reconsider why you’re so desperate to go out with them.
They’ll wonder whether it might be because you don’t have any other options, and if so, whether that is because there is something wrong with you.
So, to be safe, just follow these 9 helpful tips for how to say yes to a date without sounding desperate.
1. Take a deep breath and make sure you’re saying yes for the right reasons.
When you notice that the person you like is about to pop the question “Will you go on a date with me?”, inhale quietly and deeply and prepare yourself to answer.
But before you even open your mouth to confirm that you want to, make sure you are saying yes because you genuinely could see yourself saying “I love you” for the first time to this person.
If you are just excited by the attention, it might be a good idea to say no to the date and hold out hope for someone you’ll be more compatible with.
2. Smile calmly but don’t look overexcited.
Sometimes, in an effort not to look too excited, we play down our interest in the person we like so much that they wonder whether we even want to go on a date with them.
Don’t do this, because it will make the person asking you out feel like you might only be saying yes out of pity.
This will make them less enthusiastic about meeting up with you. For the best chances of a good date, smile at them when they ask you out.
You don’t have to grin like a Cheshire cat, but make sure your face conveys happiness at the idea of meeting up with the person asking you out.
3. Say, “Yes.”
This is the simplest part of the equation, but make sure you don’t forget to actually say “Yes” to the date.
If you get too flustered and confused by trying to appear cool that you forget to actually answer the question, it won’t make a great impression.
4. Tell them you are happy they asked.
Telling someone you are glad they asked you out might seem scary if you are worried about coming across too eager. However, there is a big difference between desperation and confidence.
A confident person doesn’t shy away from expressing their emotions about a situation, and if you are genuinely happy that the person asking you on a date has approached you, just let them know.
As long as you don’t make a huge deal about it, the person you’re planning a date with will be pleased to know that the interest is mutual. At least they’ll know you won’t be spending the next few days thinking about how to get out of a date.
5. Wait for them to suggest a concrete plan.
One thing that can come across a bit desperate when someone asks you out is if you start to bombard them with questions about the logistics of the date.
Don’t, for example, jump in after saying yes with anything that resembles, “So, where are we going? Should we go now? Are you excited? When would be a good time?”
Instead, be silent after you have said yes and wait for the person who has asked you out to suggest a concrete plan.
6. Work out the details.
Once the person asking you out has suggested a place and time for your date, you can agree, or, if there is a conflict with your schedule, make an alternative suggestion.
When working out what you’re going to do, again remember to keep your voice under control. Act like you are happy to be going and are excited but try to keep any tremors or high-pitched laughter to a minimum.
7. Tell them you are looking forward to getting to know them better.
Again, being confident does not mean you are desperate. In fact, it means quite the opposite.
If you can assert that you are looking forward to getting to know someone better, you are doing two important things.
The first is you are conveying that the interest is mutual. The second is that you are demonstrating to the person asking you out that your expectations are realistic and that they will be dating a smart girl.
You aren’t saying anything that suggests that you’ve already imagined what your babies would look like. You are simply saying that you hope you two will share good conversation and a pleasant evening.
8. Tell them you’ll see them at the agreed place and time.
End your conversation with a simple, “Cool, well I’ll see you at the restaurant at eight o’clock on Friday then.”
By establishing that the next time you’ll have contact with one another is on your planned date, you are making it clear that you are fine waiting to see them again.
This sends the message that you have a full life, are a guy or a girl who is always busy, and that you aren’t going to be sitting around thinking about them all day every day.
If aren’t always available, it will make you more intriguing to the person asking you out.
9. Don’t text them until your date.
Then, in a final show of independence, don’t text your date until you meet up with them. Leaving them space to look forward to seeing you will enhance the quality of the conversation on your date. It will also demonstrate that while you want to get to know them better, you do not need to.
If you’re meeting up with a guy, they will be more likely to act like a gentleman on a date if they know you aren’t desperate to be there.
If they have to impress you to get you to say yes when they ask for a second date, they’ll certainly put the effort in.
11 ways to say yes to a date without sounding desperate over text
- Sure, just let me check my schedule.
- I’d love that. Let’s do it.
- Yeah okay, it’s a date.
- Sure! I’d be up for that.
- Aw yeah, I’d really like that. Where and when did you have in mind?
- Sounds like fun. I’ll see you then!
- I don’t see why not, what did you have in mind?
- Thanks for asking. Sure, I’d love to join you.
- That’s a really nice invitation. Yeah, I would enjoy going to that with you.
- Yeah sure, why not?
- Yes, I’d like that a lot ☺
The most important thing to keep in mind when saying yes to a date over text is this: Don’t use too many exclamation marks and don’t use too many emojis. Don’t even think about sending a kissy-face emoji in response to being asked on a first date!
You want your language and the words you use to reflect your excitement, but you don’t want to overdo it by looking like the offer is the best one you’ve ever gotten.
Keeping your response brief will also ensure you don’t come across as being over the top. In dating, things move forward most smoothly when both people are equally interested in each other.
You don’t want to sound like you are trying to convince someone to date you by showing too much excitement or asking too many follow up questions.
Here is a run-through of the best ways to say yes to a date over text.
How to say yes to a date over text
Keep things as simple as possible when saying yes to a date over text.
Confirm that you want to go on a date using a word like “sure” or “yeah,” and follow that up by saying you would enjoy going out with the person asking.
If the person asking you out suggests a concrete plan, you can respond specifically to that by saying that you’d enjoy what they’ve proposed. If they just ask whether you’d like to go out some time, you can ask what they have in mind.
Here are some sample ways to say yes to a date with examples of when it would be appropriate to use them.
1. Sure, just let me check my schedule.
If you want to show the person asking you out that you aren’t desperate for their affection, you can say yes to the proposed date and then let them know you’ll check your schedule to see when you can fit them in.
Example:
A: Would you like to go for dinner with me one evening this week?
B: Sure, just let me check my schedule.
2. I’d love that. Let’s do it.
There is a huge difference between desperation and confidence.
Saying you’d “love that” if someone asks you at is a perfectly acceptable response. The fact that you are comfortable expressing how much you’d like to do something shows that you feel confident expressing your emotions.
This is an ideal response to being asked out over text, especially by a colleague. They will be nervous about asking a coworker on a date, so showing that you are equally into the idea will put their mind at ease.
Example:
A: Would you like to grab a drink with me after work on Friday?
B: I’d love that. Let’s do it.
3. Yeah okay, it’s a date.
The trick to not sounding desperate is to sound interested but not giddy. Avoid saying too much and opt for a simple, one-line response instead.
Saying, “Yeah okay, it’s a date” when someone asks you to go for dinner not only shows that you are up for getting together, but also confirms the nature of the dinner you’re going for.
Until something has been called a date, people often don’t want to be presumptuous and assume that it is anything more than a friendly plan to go somewhere. Get that question out of the way by calling it a date right from the outset.
Knowing what you’re both doing there will help you to not be awkward on a date when you get together, because you’ll be sure you’re on the same page.
Example:
A: Would you like to grab dinner together on Friday evening?
B: Yeah okay, it’s a date.
4. Sure! I’d be up for that.
While you don’t want to overdo the exclamation marks when agreeing to a date over text, there is no harm in using one to show enthusiasm.
Pairing an exclamation mark with neutral language makes a great response to being asked on a date.
Example:
A: Would you like to meet me for a coffee on the weekend sometime.
B: Sure! I’d be up for that.
5. Aw yeah, I’d really like that. Where and when did you have in mind?
“Aw yeah” is a nice way to respond to being asked on a date. It conveys that you are touched and happy at being asked out.
Adding that you would really like what they’ve proposed is a nice touch. Then you can ask them where and when they had in mind for a meet up.
Example:
A: So, would you be up for getting together sometime for a glass of wine?
B: Aw yeah, I’d really like that. Where and when did you have in mind?
6. Sounds like fun. I’ll see you then!
If someone proposes something specific and gives you a date and time when they ask you out, you can respond by saying what they’re proposed sounds like fun.
Then you can tell them you’ll see them at the suggested place and time.
Example:
A: Do you want to go to the county fair with me on Friday? I think the rides open at 7pm, so I could pick you up at your house at 6:30?
B: Sounds like fun. I’ll see you then!
7. I don’t see why not, what did you have in mind?
If you want to sound ultra-casual when you say yes to a date, you could go for the highly casual, “I don’t see why not.”
Follow this up by asking for specifics about what they’d like to do.
Example:
A: I’ve been wanting to ask you whether you would you like to go out with me sometime?
B: I don’t see why not, what did you have in mind?
8. Thanks for asking. Sure, I’d love to join you.
It takes a bit of courage to ask someone out.
A date can be a nerve-wracking thing, particularly for people who are anxious or tend to be more introverted. Introversion and social engagement aren’t always perfectly compatible.
If you know that the person asking you out will be thinking about how to make sure the date goes well and worrying about things like how to prep for a first date, you can show appreciation for the effort they are putting in by thanking them for asking you out.
After you’ve thanked them, tell them you’d love to join them.
Example:
A: Would you like to come to the cinema with me this afternoon?
B: Thanks for asking. Sure, I’d love to join you.
9. That’s a really nice invitation. Yeah, I would enjoy going to that with you.
If someone asks you out to do something especially fancy or exciting, tell them you think their invitation is really nice. Then let them know you would enjoy the thing they’ve proposed.
Some people are so worried about sounding desperate that they end up sounding unappreciative of the effort the other person is putting into dating them. Don’t fall into this trap.
Telling someone you would enjoy something isn’t desperate in the least, it is just good manners.
Example:
A: Would you like to join me for a meal at the new Italian restaurant on the quay?
B: That’s a really nice invitation. Yeah, I would enjoy going to that with you.
10. Yeah sure, why not?
If you want to sound ultra-cool, calm, and collected, you could respond to being asked on a date by saying, “Yeah sure, why not?”
However, it would be best not to say this to someone who is nervous about asking you out, because it might come across as sounding cold or uninterested.
This is a good response if someone extremely confident asks you out.
You might yourself wanting to go but not wanting to give the person asking you out the satisfaction of knowing just how excited you are. If this describes your situation, then a casual, “Yeah sure, why not?” is a great way to say yes to a date over text.
Example:
A: So, are you gonna let me take you out sometime or what?
B: Yeah sure, why not?
11. Yes, I’d like that a lot ☺
Okay, yes, using too many emojis when saying yes to a date might look desperate. But there’s really no harm in using a single smiley.
Emojis influence emotional communication and can sometimes convey our feelings better than we know how. So, if you’re happy about being asked out but don’t want to spell out how you’re feeling, add a smiley face to the end of your text. The person asking you out will surely get the message.
Example:
A: Would you want to come over to my place to cook dinner together on Saturday?
B: Yes, I’d like that a lot ☺
Hey, it’s me, Steven. Dating and relationships have always fascinated me. On Dategosu, you will find my best tips to make sure your next date is a great success!