One of the major milestones in any romantic relationship is saying “I love you” for the first time.
If you have been seeing someone for a while, your friends may ask you, “Have you said I love you yet?”
People frequently use these three words as a marker for the point at which you go from just seeing someone to being in a serious relationship.
While you can always decide to stop seeing someone, you can’t just turn off the feeling of loving someone.
Because of the significance of saying “I love you” for the first time, it can feel like there is a lot of pressure to respond in the right way. While this is relatively easy to do if you are in love with the person telling you they love you, it is much trickier if you aren’t.
Never fear though. Here is a comprehensive guide to responding to “I love you” for the first time, whatever you might feel about the person declaring their love to you.
30 ways to respond to “I love you” the first time
- I love you too.
- Not as much as I love you.
- I love you more.
- That makes me so happy to hear. I feel exactly the same.
- The feeling is more than mutual. I love you too. I’m glad we’ve finally said it.
- I love you so, so, so much.
- You are too good to be true. I love you too.
- You make me melt. I love you so much.
- You are the best person I know. I love you so much.
- I love you too. You make me believe in soulmates.
- Wow, that’s so flattering. I’m really moved that you said that.
- I wasn’t expecting that, that’s so sweet of you to say.
- You’re so caring. I’m so lucky to be with someone like you.
- I care deeply about you too.
- I really, really like spending time with you. You make me so happy.
- You just know all the right things to say, don’t you?
- You’re the loveliest person I know. Thank you for always being so affectionate.
- Thank you for being so vulnerable with me. It means the world that you trust me with your feelings.
- We can’t seem to stay away from each other, can we?
- Thanks, you know you are my ride-or-die.
- Wow, that’s obviously very flattering. I’m sorry, I just don’t feel the same way.
- Thank you for being so open about your feelings. Unfortunately, I think we might be on different pages.
- Woah, I had no idea you felt that way. I think we’ve been thinking about this relationship very differently. Maybe we should talk about this more seriously.
- Gosh, I’m so sorry, I had no idea your feelings were so strong. I’ve always seen this as more of a casual arrangement.
- That’s come as a bit of surprise to me. I thought we were just hanging out. I hope you don’t feel like I’ve been leading you on. That was never my intention.
- Wow, I’m obviously moved that you feel that way about me. I also have very strong feelings for you. I think it will take me a while longer until I feel comfortable saying the L-word, but I’m glad you didn’t hold back.
- Thank you for telling me that, you’ve made me so happy. I’m getting there too; I just need a little more time.
- I’m so touched that you love me. I care deeply about you too; I just feel like it’s a little soon for me to be saying anything about love. But don’t take that the wrong way because I’m really enjoying getting to know you.
- Really? How can you love me; we’ve only known each other for a few weeks?
- Are you sure you aren’t confusing love and lust?
How to respond to “I love you” the first time if you feel the same way
If you love someone, there is nothing better than having them tell you they love you. You will surely feel giddy and want to return the sentiment.
Enjoy this moment! However long you stay together with your partner, every relationship only has one first “I love you”!
Here are a few ways you could tell the person who tells you “I love you” that you love them too.
1. I love you too.
This simple, classic response is probably the best one out there.
If someone you love tells you they love you, you don’t have to use this as opportunity to show them just how eloquent you can be.
Keep words to a minimum and let the moment speak for itself!
If your partner tells you they love you over text, you could also respond by telling them you love them too and adding an appropriate emoji.
It might take the pressure off the situation a little, if your partner can respond to a kissy-face emoji rather than having to respond to just the words “I love you too.”
2. Not as much as I love you.
If you’re feeling too giddy to stick to a simple “I love you too,” you could opt for this cute response, which introduces a light-hearted competitive mood to your special moment.
If you and your lover spend a lot of time teasing each other, this is a cute way to give your first time saying “I love you” to each other a personal touch.
3. I love you more.
This is another light-hearted response that conveys both that the feeling of love is mutual, and that you can’t imagine they could love you anywhere near as much as you love them.
Additionally, you’re putting your partner in the position of having to respond to “I love you more,” and whatever they come up with will surely be funny.
4. That makes me so happy to hear. I feel exactly the same.
It’s funny how even in a moment that is notoriously vulnerable, we can still feel self-conscious about expressing too much emotion.
If someone tells you they love you, you don’t have to hold back on how happy their words are making you. They will probably appreciate the positive reinforcement and the definite confirmation that you are on the same page when it comes to your feelings about each other.
5. The feeling is more than mutual. I love you too. I’m glad we’ve finally said it.
If your partner seems nervous about what they have just said, you can reassure them by telling them the feeling is more than mutual.
What this means is that you don’t just love them, you really, really love them.
This is sure to wash away any insecurities they may have been feeling before expressing their feelings to you.
Just so there is no doubt about where you stand, make sure you also say the words “I love you too.”
If you have been feeling in love with your partner for a long time, you could also say, “I’m glad we’ve finally said it,” to send the message that you have had the feelings you have for a little while.
Once you’ve both said “I love you” to each other, you and your partner might have to consider how to tell your parents you have a girlfriend or boyfriend.
6. I love you so, so, so much.
When a couple says “I love you” to each other for the first time, the first person to say it is always taking a risk.
They may feel fairly confident that the sentiment will be returned, but they have no guarantee of it.
We misread situations all the time, and many people have been blindsided by the fact that their feelings for their partner were much stronger than the feelings going the other way.
For this reason, it is nice, after the person has said the initial “I love you,” for their partner to come back with a stronger statement than they received.
For example, if someone says, “I love you,” the response, “I love you so, so, so much,” puts the initial speaker in no doubt that they made the right decision by saying those all-important three words.
7. You are too good to be true. I love you too.
If someone tells you they love you and you feel over the moon, tell them the good things you think about them.
Telling someone they are too good to be true after they tell you they love you is a sweet and intimate expression of deep affection.
Because saying “I love you” for the first time is seen as such a momentous moment, it is widely considered important the other person actually says the words, “I love you too” in return.
Often, if you tell your friends that your partner told you they love you, they will ask, “did you say it back?”
For this reason, if only to put your partner’s mind at ease, you should take care to make sure you say the magic words back when someone tells you they love you.
8. You make me melt. I love you so much.
If you can hardly contain yourself when your partner tells you they love you, you can say something like, “You make me melt,” or, “I’m so happy, I might explode.”
Then, finish off your response with a heartfelt, “I love you so much.”
Once you and your partner have told each other you love each other, it becomes much easier for you both to know what to text your girlfriend (or boyfriend) when they are sad. A simple, “I’m sorry you’re not feeling good. I love you.” will surely do the trick.
9. You are the best person I know. I love you so much.
We all think the people we love are uniquely fantastic people.
Regardless of how subjective your assessment of your partner is, if you feel that you are in the arms of the best person in the world, tell them this!
And of course, make sure you also actually say the words, “I love you,” in return.
10. I love you too. You make me believe in soulmates.
The best advice for anyone in love whose partner is telling them they love them for the first time is to be honest about what you’re feeling.
If there was ever a time to not hold back, this is it!
So, if hearing that the person you love loves you back makes you believe in soulmates, tell them this. They will surely be happy hear how confident you are about your shared relationship.
Everybody’s love story is different, but you’ve surely come a long way from where you started. Take a second to congratulate yourselves for the love you’ve built.
Maybe you started off wondering about ways to respond to a pickup line and now you’ve made it all the way to soulmate stage. That’s certainly worth celebrating!
How to respond to “I love you” the first time if you aren’t sure how you feel
Unfortunately, not every “I love you” can be perfectly matched by a reciprocal “I love you too.” The intensity of people’s feelings rarely aligns exactly.
So, if someone you have been seeing for a while says, “I love you” and you haven’t made up your mind whether you could fall for them, you are in an awkward position.
In order not to hurt the person you are seeing’s feelings or have to talk about what you feel when you aren’t even sure yourself, try to say something grateful but non-committal.
Here are a few ways you could go about responding to “I love you” if you aren’t sure how you feel.
11. Wow, that’s so flattering. I’m really moved that you said that.
If someone you aren’t sure how you feel about tells you they love you, you will probably find yourself put on the spot. You may feel unsure what to do.
The most important thing to do is to keep a cool head and try to end the conversation as soon as possible so that you don’t say something you will regret.
Telling someone, “I love you” makes us vulnerable, so have compassion for the person expressing their feelings to you. Tell them you are moved by what they said.
Then, see if you can transition the conversation gradually onto another topic. Once you are not under the immediate pressure of having to respond to “I love you,” you can take some time to reflect on what you feel about this person.
12. I wasn’t expecting that, that’s so sweet of you to say.
This is a good response to “I love you” if you genuinely feel blindsided by the person saying it.
Saying you weren’t expecting to hear that is honest. Then, you can acknowledge that the fact that it was said is sweet.
You don’t have to say any more than this if nothing else comes naturally. Whenever you are wondering how much to say, for example, if you are wondering how often you should text your girlfriend, the answer is usually that you should say as much as feels right to you in the moment.
It is better not to overstate your feelings, even though it can be tempting to say things just to please the person you are speaking to.
However, this will only end up hurting them more in the long term.
13. You’re so caring. I’m so lucky to be with someone like you.
As long as what you are saying is genuine and compassionate, there is no one right way to respond to “I love you” from someone you aren’t sure how you feel about.
If what you feel is moved that the person you are with always goes out of their way to make you feel special, you can tell them they are caring and that you feel lucky.
This will surely make them happy, even if you can’t quite bring yourself to return their “I love you.”
14. I care deeply about you too.
Sometimes the truth is harsh.
But harsh truth can still be kinder than sweet untruths. If someone says, “I love you,” they are also asking the unspoken question, “and how do you feel about me?”
If the answer to that question is not “I love you too,” that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t say what is on your mind.
Telling someone you care deeply about them in response to their telling you they love you may hurt their feelings initially.
Ultimately though, all you have done is honest and kind. In the long term, you will be happy that your response is one you can stand by.
15. I really, really like spending time with you. You make me so happy.
If you think you might be able to fall in love with someday and they tell you they love you, make sure you don’t shut them down too harshly. If they feel completely rejected, they may pull back and stop showing you any affection.
Instead, tell them something genuine and convey the full intensity of your feelings about that thing. If you want to tell them that you love the time you spend together, do!
Make sure the enthusiasm in your voice matches the enthusiasm you feel about them. And don’t underestimate the power of body language, it can make all the difference!
16. You just know all the right things to say, don’t you?
If you doubt someone’s sincerity when they tell you they love you, you might try to coyly suggest that you are on to them and know they are using “I love you” as a line to reel you in.
Whether you find it comforting to think that they don’t really love you because the feeling isn’t mutual or are a little annoyed that they’re telling you something you don’t believe is true, calling them out will surely be satisfying.
In addition to showing that you are too smart to be messed with, you are also removing yourself from the awkward position of having to deal with talking about your feelings.
17. You’re the loveliest person I know. Thank you for always being so affectionate.
If someone you are seeing tells you they love you and you aren’t sure what you feel about them, why not give them a nice compliment? No one doesn’t like to hear nice things about themselves. The power of compliments should not be underestimated!
While they will probably still be hurt not to have heard the words, “I love you in return,” they will know that hope is not lost and understand that you probably just need more time to let your feelings develop.
18. Thank you for being so vulnerable with me. It means the world that you trust me with your feelings.
We hear a lot about the power of vulnerability in popular media. But no matter how many times a qualified podcast guest or social media influencer encourages us to wear our emotions on our sleeves, doing this can cause people a lot of anxiety.
So, if someone tells you they love you and you don’t feel you can return the sentiment, you could still offer them your genuine gratitude for the trust they are showing you by sharing intimate feelings with you.
19. We can’t seem to stay away from each other, can we?
If you haven’t worked out what you feel for the person you’re seeing yet, you can always respond to an expression of affection from them by pointing out a fact about the two of you.
So, if someone says, “I love you,” you could simply point out that the two of you seem unable to stay away from one another and let that fact speak for itself.
This is a great way to avoid having to talk about the L-word before you are ready to tackle the question of your feelings.
20. Thanks, you know you are my ride-or-die.
If you want to tell someone that they are in your life to stay and that you would do anything for them, but don’t feel comfortable dropping the L-bomb, why not use an alternative expression of dedication and care?
For example, if someone you are seeing says, “I love you,” you could respond by telling them they are your ride-or-die.
How to respond to “I love you” the first time if you don’t feel the same way
The most awkward situation to find yourself in when an “I love you” is involved, is being told these three words by someone you don’t feel the same thing for.
Unlike situations in which you need more time to figure out what you feel, if you know for certain you will never love the person in front of you, the kindest thing to do is tell them explicitly that you don’t feel the same.
Here are a few suggestions for how to handle this obviously uncomfortable situation and respond to “I love you” the first time if you don’t feel the same.
21. Wow, that’s obviously very flattering. I’m sorry, I just don’t feel the same way.
Usually, the person telling you they love you will be someone you are seeing fairly seriously.
There will always be the odd person who will tell a stranger on the street that they love them, but these people really are the exception.
So, assuming that the person confessing their feelings to you is someone you are involved with, the best thing to do is to end things if you don’t feel the same.
This might sound harsh but is the kindest thing you can do for them in the long term.
Start with a simple line telling them you’re flattered, but don’t feel the same. Then, progress to saying that you aren’t sure you see a future for the two of you.
End by suggesting it might be better to call things off now.
22. Thank you for being so open about your feelings. Unfortunately, I think we might be on different pages.
Handling situations that involve other people’s heightened emotions is never easy. Try to be as sensitive as possible.
This response thanks your partner for their openness and then lets them know that you are not on the same page as them emotionally.
23. I had no idea you felt that way. I think we’ve been thinking about this relationship very differently. Maybe we should talk about this more seriously.
If someone tells you they love you and your initial reaction is to wonder how on earth they could think that you might feel the same, you don’t have to hide your surprise.
Go right ahead and tell them you had no idea how they were feeling. Then tell them that you have been thinking about the situation very differently.
Finally, suggest a longer conversation about what you are, because you clearly don’t seem to be doing so well at intuiting each other’s feelings.
24. Gosh, I’m so sorry, I had no idea your feelings were so strong. I’ve always seen this as more of a casual arrangement.
If you thought you were just having fun with someone and they then turn around and tell you they love you, you have certainly found yourself in a bit of a pickle.
While it is never okay to lead someone on, it is entirely possible that you believed the two of you were on the same page about the time you spent together, only to discover they thought it was much more romantic than you did.
As long as you have not promised things you don’t mean, you can’t help that the person you’ve been seeing casually has fallen for you.
Just make sure that you respond to the first time they say “I love you” by clearly telling them you don’t feel the same way.
25. That’s come as a bit of surprise to me. I thought we were just hanging out. I hope you don’t feel like I’ve been leading you on. That was never my intention.
This response to hearing “I love you” for the first time from someone you don’t feel the same way about is a variation on a similar theme as the previous one.
If you thought things were casual and they clearly didn’t, see if you can maturely discuss the miscommunication you had and work out what you want to do next.
How to respond to “I love you” for the first time if it’s too soon
We all know people who jump the gun when it comes to saying the L-word.
They get overexcited by a blossoming relationship and can’t seem to contain their emotions for long enough to assess whether what they are feeling is real.
If you have found yourself seeing one of these people, but don’t necessarily feel that their premature enthusiasm is a dealbreaker, here are a few ways you could respond the first time they say, “I love you.”
26. Wow, I’m obviously moved that you feel that way about me. I also have very strong feelings for you. I think it will take me a while longer until I feel comfortable saying the L-word, but I’m glad you didn’t hold back.
If you still have hope for the relationship in question and don’t want to let a slip-of-the-tongue “I love you” get in the way of what could be a happy coupledom, tell the person you are seeing what you are feeling.
You can let them know you are touched that they love you and that you have feelings for them too, but that it will take you a while before you are ready to return the sentiment.
27. Thank you for telling me that, you’ve made me so happy. I’m getting there too; I just need a little more time.
Even if you aren’t ready to tell the person you’re seeing that you love them, that doesn’t mean you can’t be over the moon that they feel that way about you.
If you show them how happy it makes you that they love you, they will understand that while they may have told you they love you a little early, your feelings for them are also growing.
You can also start slowly on the road towards “I love you.” Why not begin by texting them “I miss you” if this feels easier to say?
28. I’m so touched that you love me. I care deeply about you too; I just feel like it’s a little soon for me to be saying anything about love. But don’t take that the wrong way because I’m really enjoying getting to know you.
This is a great, caring way to respond to someone telling you they love you for the first time, when they say it too soon.
You’re telling them you’re touched while also honestly communicating that it is too early for you to be saying the L-word.
29. Really? How can you love me; we’ve only known each other for a few weeks?
If you are sceptical about someone professing their love to you, you can query whether they really mean what they’ve just said.
While you don’t want to offend them, if they’re telling you they love you after almost no time at all, your question is certainly warranted.
That said, don’t be too harsh. After all, we’d all rather have a partner who jumps the love gun than be seeing someone with a fear of commitment who says “I am not ready for a relationship.”
30. Are you sure you aren’t confusing love and lust?
If someone tells you they love you after just a few weeks, you may find yourself feeling shocked.
Your first reaction may be to want to clarify how seriously the person you are seeing means what they’ve just said.
There is nothing wrong with asking how sincere someone is being if they are telling you something that serious. If you suspect they may feel lust for you, not love, you can ask this question straight out.
Hey, it’s me, Steven. Dating and relationships have always fascinated me. On Dategosu, you will find my best tips to make sure your next date is a great success!