People join Tinder for a variety of reasons. However, if we were going to break down those reasons into categories, we would probably be able to sort people into three rough camps.
The first group join because they are looking for love. The second group join because they are looking for something casual or even for a one-night stand.
The third group—and this group is larger than you might think—join Tinder in order to swipe, distract themselves by chatting to strangers, and see what the app experience is like.
This third kind of Tinder user makes it difficult for the first two to tell when someone is being genuine about their interest.
The good news, however, is that even people who fall into the third category can be swayed.
So, here is advice for how to get a date on Tinder, no matter what kind of user you’re talking to.
10 Tips to Get a Date on Tinder
1. Make sure your profile is honest, up to date, and interesting
2. Swipe right on people you think you would actually get along with
3. Use a good opening line
4. Initiate a conversation with purpose and show real interest
5. Demonstrate a desire to continue the conversation
6. Pay attention to your match’s concerns and plans and ask about them
7. Wait three days
8. Ask your match whether they would like to go on a date
9. Suggest an activity for your date and ask about your match’s availability
10. Show up to your date on time and dressed appropriately
Getting a date on Tinder starts with setting up your profile so that it honestly reflects your interests, sense of humor, and appearance.
Then—and this the ultimate hack for actually meeting up with someone on a dating app—swipe right on the people you would actually want to spend time with.It can be tempting to simply swipe right on every good-looking face that appears on your screen.
But doing so may be a big waste of your time, because if your whole interest in someone is based on appearance, you probably won’t have all that much to talk to each other about.
Once you match with someone you think you could genuinely enjoy getting to know, initiate a conversation.
Commit to giving the conversation your full attention at least once per day.
Then, after three or four days, ask the person you’re speaking to on a date.
They will then be put in the position of responding to someone asking them out—hopefully, they will say yes because of the great rapport you have established.
They will probably look over your profile again before answering, which is why it is so important that your profile looks good.
After that, nail down the details and then go to your date! Voilà! It’s as easy as that. Hopefully you’ll be thinking about how to ask for a second date in no time.
Follow the handy step-by-step guide outlined below to ensure you have success on your Tinder dating adventures.
Step 1: Make sure your profile is honest, up to date, and interesting
Set up a profile that includes multiple high-quality photos of you––both alone and with other people. Make sure the information you include accurately represents your interests and keep the tone of your personal bio lighthearted so that you seem approachable. Update your education history and current employment.
Meeting online has become the most popular way couples meet. Unfortunately, in the world of modern dating, looks matter a lot.
Now, that isn’t to say that your physical appearance is the most important thing.
In fact, it isn’t. It is actually the appearance of your profile that matters.
What this means is that you need to choose well-lit, high-quality photos that show you looking like yourself. Select a variety of pictures that represent the different parts of your life.
Here is a simple formula for selecting the photos for your dating app profile.
First, choose a photo that shows just you from the torso upwards. If possible, you should be smiling and in your element.
If you love fishing, choose a photo of you in the great outdoors. If your vibe is more corporate, select a photo of you in a suit at a convention.
Next, include pictures of you doing your favorite hobbies and hanging out with friends. Include pictures in which you are dressed up and ones where you’re dressed casually.
Step 2: Swipe right on people you think you would actually get along with
Swipe right on people who appear to have similar interests, work in a similar field, or whose sense of humor seems to match yours. Look at their photos for clues about what kind of lifestyle they live and consider whether it would be compatible with yours.
The virtues and downsides of online dating are many.
One of the downsides, however, is that because users first impressions are based primarily on physical appearance and because it is impossible to pick up on energy right away, it can be easy to swipe right on all the wrong people.
Don’t let yourself give in to the temptation to simply swipe right on every attractive person.
Instead, be intentional and realistic about who you would like to go on a date with.
You don’t have to be too critical—after all, people can surprise you—but have a general awareness about the kind of person you tend to get along with, and don’t even bother swiping right on people who seem to have contrasting values to your own.
For example, if you would struggle to date a guy who is busy all the time, don’t swipe right on someone whose profile says “Married to my job.”
Step 3: Use a good opening line
A good opening line on Tinder has to spark your match’s interest so that they feel excited about talking to you. Open with a question so that they have something to respond to, or else make a witty joke about something on their profile to get a conversation going and establish a lighthearted tone.
While there is nothing wrong with asking a simple and easy “What’s up?” on Tinder, some people might be more drawn in and willing to engage if they have to come up with ways to respond to respond to a pick-up line on Tinder.
People like to be challenged, especially by those they see as potential romantic partners. Conversations have to have a bit of spice in order to remain interesting.
Choose an opener that gives the person you’re talking to a taste of your humor and lets them know it’s okay to relax and joke around with you.
Step 4: Initiate a conversation with purpose and show real interest
When you start a conversation, do so with the intention of continuing it. Be as present as you can be for at least part of your day, and don’t ghost the person you’re speaking to for days on end. Ask questions and pay attention to your match’s responses.
Anyone who has ever been on a dating app knows how different it is to chat to someone who seems genuinely interest and someone who seems to be using the dating app as a way to alleviate momentary boredom.
Establish from the very beginning of the conversation that you are genuinely interested in getting to know your match.
One way to do this is to comment on specific elements of their profile and compliment them.
So, for example, if you are a big white-water kayaker and you see a picture of your match in kayaking gear, tell them you think it’s a great picture and ask where they were kayaking.
This kind of conversation will do wonders for the possibility of your match saying yes to a date, because it makes them feel that they are not just some match on a dating app but rather a person in your life whom you are actually paying attention to.
Step 5: Demonstrate a desire to continue the conversation
Spend half an hour every day giving the conversation your full, undivided attention. Respond right away and see if you can establish what feels like a real back-and-forth. When you have to go again, tell them you have to get back to what you were doing but that you’ll chat to them tomorrow.
One thing that makes a big difference in the early stages of chatting on dating apps, is clarity about why you are and aren’t responding.
To prevent your match from getting in their own head and questioning whether you are interested in them, just be clear about the times you can and cannot talk. Get in touch when you’re free and then tell them when you have to go.
If you’re struggling with the question of how frequently to text your match, don’t worry, this is a normal concern to have. Even people who are in long-standing relationships ask themselves how often you should text your girlfriend (or boyfriend).
A good rule of thumb to follow is that it is better to give a conversation your undivided attention for short periods of time than to give it your partial attention over a long period of time.
To increase your chances of getting a date from Tinder, initiate a conversation once per day, about 24 hours apart, at a time when you can actually talk.
Step 6: Pay attention to your match’s concerns and plans and ask about them
Show that you are genuinely interested in your match’s life by asking about plans they told you had. You can also follow up with them about things they told you they were feeling. This demonstrates that you think about them even when they aren’t talking, which can help bring your relationship from being just Tinder matches to being something more.
The more clearly you can show a concerted interest in your match’s life, the more likely they will be to want to include you in it.
If your match tells you they are going to their niece’s christening and you follow up with them and ask about it, they will probably say something like, “Aww”––if this happens, read up on ways to respond to “aww”––and thank you for remembering this detail about their life.
Asking follow-up questions about things someone has told you about their life is the easiest way to demonstrate that you appreciate them.
Step 7: Wait three days
While there is no need to play games, wait at least three days after you have matched someone before you ask them out on a date. This gives both of you time to reflect on your compatibility and to assess whether your conversation seems to be flowing or not.
Waiting three days is a great way to give yourself enough time to take stock of the situation.
While your first impression of the person you matched with may be so positive that you would be quite happy to ask them out straight away, try to restrain yourself.
There is never any need to rush when it comes to asking someone on a date. Give yourself enough time to determine the nature of your interest before asking someone to go out with you.
Step 8: Ask your match whether they would like to go on a date
Tell your match that you have really been enjoying getting to know them and that you would love to meet up with them in person. Ask them if they have the time and if they would be interested in going out sometime.
Don’t put too much pressure on your match at this early stage. Instead of making a big deal of asking them out on a huge, fancy date, just suggest meeting up.
That said, because this is Tinder and it is known for having something of a hook-up culture, make clear that you are interested in a date, not just something casual.
The perfect phrasing is probably something along the lines of, “Hey, I’ve had such a nice time chatting to you these last few days. I feel like we have a lot in common and a lot to say to each other. Would you want to grab a bite to eat together sometime?”
Alternatively, you could say, “Hey, I have the best time talking to you. Do you want to continue this conversation in person over a drink sometime? I’d love to get to know you better.”
Both of these options convey that there is no pressure on the situation, but that your interest extends beyond just wanting something casual or physical.
Step 9: Suggest an activity for your date and ask about your match’s availability
If your match says yes to a date, suggest an activity. Ask them if this is something they would enjoy. If they say yes, ask them when they might be available to do this. You can also suggest a time and see whether it works for them.
One way you could say this would be, “I’m so glad you’d like to get together sometime.
How would you feel about letting me take you out to that hot dog place I was telling you about? Maybe on Friday evening?”
While it is always nice to consult the person you’re making plans with about what they want to do, in the early stages of a budding relationship, it is often easier for both parties if one person just makes a plan and asks the other person whether it sounds good.
This allows you to bypass all the awkward instances of asking, “I don’t care; what do you want to do?”
Also, it’s quite nice to feel like you are being taken care of and your match will appreciate your assertiveness.
Step 10: Show up to your date on time and dressed appropriately
The final step to getting a date on Tinder is of course to show up to it. Dress well and be on time. All these things will help cement yourself as a catch worthy of your match’s time and attention.
If you want to make a good impression, make sure you clean yourself up and arrive punctually.
Be waiting when your date arrives. This will make them feel comfortable and safe right from the get-go and will show them that you care enough about them not to have wanted them
to have to wait around for you.
Finally, and most importantly, enjoy your date. Meeting someone on Tinder is intimidating and putting yourself out there is a brave step. So, well done!
Now, focus on having fun and give your undivided attention to the person in front of you!
Hey, it’s me, Steven. Dating and relationships have always fascinated me. On Dategosu, you will find my best tips to make sure your next date is a great success!