There are very few things more exciting than a good first date. If you are leaving a date with a stomach full of butterflies and a head full of hopes for the future, you know the date went well.
All the nerves you felt leading up to the date, all the prep for the first date, and all the groundwork you laid to get a date worth keeping have paid off.
Now, you might find yourself wondering how soon you can arrange to see your date again.
You might want to see them right away again but are also wondering whether that is too soon.
After all, you don’t want to freak them out by coming on too strong.
There are no real rules about how soon is too soon to schedule a second date.
Instead, this article will offer you a few things to consider before asking to arrange a second date.
How soon should a second date be?
A second date should be relatively soon after the first. Schedule something for between 3 days and 1.5 weeks after your initial date. One week is the perfect time to wait between dates. Make sure you meet up again before 2 weeks have passed, or your connection won’t have a chance to progress.
That being said, these are just guidelines. Don’t overthink it. Do what makes sense for you and the person you’re seeing once you’ve taken your schedules and levels of interest in each other into account.
For example, if you’re dating someone who works nights, it might be more difficult for them to find the time to get together.
But as long as you are both genuinely interested in each other, incompatible schedules can be worked through, and you’ll surely find a time that works for both of you.
If you meet your date and the two of you spend the entire evening talking non-stop, and you immediately feel like you’ve met your soulmate, you can continue to ride the excitement and momentum of that connection and go for a second date right away.
If, however, you really enjoyed your date’s company, but the two of you are still a bit shy around each other, you might want to let your connection germinate.
If so, try to schedule a second date for within approximately a week’s time.
The most important thing is not to let things go for too long after a first date before scheduling in a second one.
Part of building a relationship is allowing a connection to develop and grow.
If you don’t see the person you’re getting to know often enough, the initial spark may just die, and all the potential that you established on your first date will disappear.
Is a second date the next day too soon?
If you establish an instant, electric connection with your date, then a second date the next day is not too soon. If you like your date but think it will take a few dates for the two of you to get comfortable being around one another, then a second date the next day is too soon and suggesting it might make you sound too keen. Play it cool instead.
How someone responds to being asked out on a second date the day after the first date will depend completely on how much they like the person asking them.
If they are already smitten, they will be extremely excited and probably be super up for it.
If, on the other hand, they aren’t totally sure whether they see a future for the two or you or not, they might think you are coming on a bit strong.
If what you’re really here to find out is whether your date is going to call you crazy if ask to meet up the day after your first date, then the answer is—well, it’s complicated.
The hard truth is that if you think it’s a love-at-first-sight, head-over-heels, ride-or-die connection, then go for it.
If it has potential, but will need time to develop, then a second date the day after the first is too soon.
How long is too long between the first and second date?
If you go on a first date with someone and feel like the two of you have real potential to build a fulfilling relationship, then don’t let things go for too long before arranging to meet up again. If you want to see where your connection with your date goes, prioritize finding an evening to get together before 2 weeks have passed since your first date.
This can be hard if the two of you are always on the go and have a lot of prior commitments.
Dating a guy who is busy all the time or a girl who is always busy present serious challenges, because you will always be trying to find a few hours to squeeze each other in.
However, the truth is that we find time for the things we really care about.
Considering that many people say the second date is actually more important than the first when it comes to establishing a real connection, leaving too much time before you go on it might result in projected love.
This means you that you might be falling for what you think someone is like, only to realize when you do finally go on your second date that the person you’re seeing is very different to the memory of them that you had in your head.
Avoid this situation by meeting up for a second date within two weeks of your first.
Texting between the first and second date?
Send a text after your first date thanking the person you were with for a nice evening and telling them you had a good time. Then, refrain from texting unless you’re discussing the logistics of meeting up again. You could also text if you feel compelled to share something that reminds you of your date and that you think they would enjoy.
It is normal to wonder how much contact you should have between your first and second date.
Should you be sending the person you met up with “Good morning” and “Sleep tight” texts?
Should you be checking in with them every day to show them that you enjoyed the date and are interested in getting to know them better?
Or is it better to refrain from texting communication and get to know each other in person instead?
Well, it depends. If you’re both big texters and are both into it, then why not!
However, as a general rule of thumb, try not to over-text after the first date.
It is nice to let someone know that you had a good time on your date and to thank them for the evening you shared.
After that, however, try not to get touch too often unless you’re arranging the next time you’re going to meet up.
It is better to let the connection develop in person on your second date.
If you are still keen after the second date, you can begin texting more frequently.
The one exception to this is that if you see something that reminds you of a conversation you had on the date and feel compelled to share it with your date, go for it! Your date will enjoy knowing that you thought of them.
How long between the second and third date?
Once you have been on two dates, there is no real minimum amount of time to wait. It is perfectly acceptable (and it can be exciting!) to meet for back-to-back second and third dates. Again, though, try not to wait more than two weeks after your second date before meeting for your third.
After a second date, you’ll have a much better idea of where things could go with the person you’re seeing.
This means you don’t have to be as cautious.
If the two of you like each other, and if you could see yourself eventually wondering how long to date before marriage with this person, then meet up as soon as you want to.
Stop worrying that you are going to be coming on too strong.
The guideline for a maximum wait time still applies though.
Try as hard as you can not to go more than half a month without seeing each other.
Otherwise, your connection may start to go slack, and you’ll become distracted by other commitments.
Truthfully, if neither of you really wants to meet up again before two weeks have passed, then you might as well just leave things.
If you don’t feel all that excited about the person you’re seeing, then what’s the point in continuing to get together?
Do yourself a favor and let your date know you aren’t really feeling it.
Then you can get back out there and meet someone who makes you feel like you want a second and third date asap.
Hey, it’s me, Steven. Dating and relationships have always fascinated me. On Dategosu, you will find my best tips to make sure your next date is a great success!