Unfortunately, not all dates are enjoyable. While we all dream of feeling instant chemistry the minute we lay eyes on a date, sometimes the stars just don’t align.
Instead of giving us the feeling of being instantly smitten, some dates leave us with the ick.
No matter how well you prep for a date, you can’t guarantee that you’ll have a positive experience.
You will probably realize soon after meeting someone whether you want to see them again or not.
Unfortunately, your date will not always pick up on the fact that you aren’t interested, and you may find them asking for a second date.
Here are a few ways to turn someone down when they ask you if you want to get together again and you aren’t interested.
16 ways to say no to a second date
- Thanks for asking. Unfortunately, I don’t think we’re compatible as more than friends.
- I had a nice time getting to know you, but I don’t think I want to pursue things romantically.
- Thanks for a lovely evening. I’m going to say no to a second date, because I don’t think we have much in common.
- Thank you for asking me out again. I think we might be looking for different things, so I don’t think we should go for a second date.
- I’d like to meet up again, but I think we would be better as friends.
- I really enjoyed our conversation, but I didn’t really feel a spark. Would you want to hang out as friends?
- I feel like we connected on more of a friendship level. Would you be up for getting to know each other better in a non-romantic way?
- Aw, I would love to go out again. Unfortunately, I’m fully booked up for the next two weeks. Can I give you a call at the end of the month to arrange something?
- I had a great time getting to you know. You’ve caught me at a bad time in my work year and I just don’t have any time to date right now. Can I get in touch again when things have calmed down for me?
- That’s so kind. I really enjoyed our conversation. Unfortunately, I’m moving abroad for six months. I will get back in contact when I’m back home again and we can give things a go then if you’re still single.
- Oh, I’m sorry but no. I didn’t appreciate how you spoke to me on our first date, and I don’t think we’re compatible at all.
- I’m surprised you’re asking me that considering how our last date ended. Sorry, but I’m not interested in you.
- Are you serious? You were so rude to me on our first date. I don’t want to date you. Please don’t contact me again.
- Unfortunately, I can’t see this going anywhere, so I’m going to have to say no.
- Thank you for asking me, but I think it would be best if we just left things.
- I didn’t have a very good time on our first date, so no.
There are several reasons why you might be wondering how to say no to a second date.
You might find yourself being awkward on a date and realize that you don’t feel comfortable with the person you’re seeing, discover that you just have nothing in common with them, or just feel no physical chemistry.
Whatever is making you think that you two wouldn’t make a good match, listen to your gut instinct and don’t continue meeting up with someone when you know something is off.
How to say no to a second date if you want to be friends
If you could see yourself being friends with the person you went on a date with but just don’t think you’re romantically compatible, why not suggest getting together to hangout platonically?
Here are a few ways you could go about letting someone down easy when they ask you on a second date and you don’t see things going further than a friendship.
1. Thanks for asking. Unfortunately, I don’t think we’re compatible as more than friends.
Even if you don’t want to date the person asking you out, it doesn’t hurt to thank them for their interest in getting to know you better.
The fact that they would have liked to go on another date is a compliment, and the fact that they would have been happy to spend more time with you is worthy of a simple “thanks.”
When you are turning someone down for a date be as straightforward as possible. Don’t talk around the fact that you aren’t interested in them.
If you come up with too many circumstantial excuses, the person asking you out will be confused about whether you like them and may try to come up with ways around whatever reason you give for why you can’t see them.
Telling someone you don’t think you’re compatible is ultimately the kindest thing you can do when turning them down for a second date.
2. I had a nice time getting to know you, but I don’t think I want to pursue things romantically.
If you can’t see yourself ever saying, “I love you” for the first time to someone, and they ask you on a second date, just tell them you don’t see the two of you having a romantic future.
It’s as simple as that. You don’t owe them a reason why.
All another person can ever ask of you is that you be clear about your feelings, and this response is crystal clear.
3. Thanks for a lovely evening. I’m going to say no to a second date, because I don’t think we have much in common.
If, on the other hand, you do want to give a reason for turning someone down and your reason is nothing personally offensive to them, just go ahead and spell it out.
If you don’t have much in common with someone, tell them you don’t want to go out again because you have different interests.
Everyone knows that part of relationship compatibility is finding enjoyment in at least some of the same things.
If you went on a first date with someone and couldn’t even begin to picture a shared future for the simple reason that your interests are miles apart, tell them you don’t think there’s much point in going out again.
4. Thank you for asking me out again. I think we might be looking for different things, so I don’t think we should go for a second date.
This response can be adapted to a wide variety of circumstances.
If you can tell that the person you’re seeing wants a serious relationship and you are only looking for something casual, you could tell them you aren’t interested in a second date because you two are looking for different things.
Or if, on the other hand, you’re looking to settle down and get married soon and the person you’ve been on a date with has just told you they think marriage is a wretched institution, it’s probably best you cut things off now.
You can adapt this response to be as specific or unspecific as you want.
Keep it vague if you want to avoid getting into a debate, but feel free to elaborate if you want the person you’ve been on a date with to know exactly why you don’t want to see them again.
5. I’d like to meet up again, but I think we would be better as friends.
If you genuinely enjoyed someone’s company but just feel that the two of you would never work romantically, suggest meeting up as friends using this straightforward response.
6. I really enjoyed our conversation, but I didn’t really feel a spark. Would you want to hang out as friends?
It is rare for one person on a date to feel a genuine spark when the other person doesn’t. In romantic situations, it really does take two to tango.
If someone is asking you out again, you might be worried about offending them by saying that you didn’t feel there was much chemistry between the two of you. Don’t!
More than likely, they didn’t feel it either and are hoping that that spark will ignite itself over time.
Save yourself and them the pain of a slow fizzle by just saying it like it is when you turn them down for a second date.
7. I feel like we connected on more of a friendship level. Would you be up for getting to know each other better in a non-romantic way?
If you only want to get to know someone as a friend, you literally could not be clearer about how you feel than this response.
Telling someone you connected means you enjoyed their company, but clarifying that it was on a friendship level will save them any potential pain they might feel about the fact that the two of you are on different pages.
By suggesting getting together anyway, you’re proving that you meant what you said about connecting with them, and that you really would like to spend time together.
How to say no to a second date because you are busy
There are certain times in our lives when no matter how much we want to do something, we simply don’t have the time.
If you have a good first date but then realize that you won’t be able to squeeze in a second date, you can suggest getting together again sometime in the future when you have a more time.
Here are a few ways you could say no to a second date because you aren’t going to be available.
Don’t feel bad for saying no––if the person you’re seeing wants to be with you eventually, they’ll have to get used to the reality of dating someone who is always busy.
8. Aw, I would love to go out again. Unfortunately, I’m fully booked up for the next two weeks. Can I give you a call at the end of the month to arrange something?
If you’re saying no to a second date because of time constraints, make sure you let the person you’re talking to know that you are still enthusiastic about getting to know them.
Saying right off the bat that you would love to go out again will put them at ease and reassure them that you aren’t just using a full schedule as an excuse to get out of seeing them again.
Suggesting you’ll give them a call to arrange something when you’re free is another way of telling them that you’ll keep the ball in your court, so-to-speak, and that you’ll take on the responsibility of getting in touch next.
9. I had a great time getting to you know. You’ve caught me at a bad time in my work year and I just don’t have any time to date right now. Can I get in touch again when things have calmed down for me?
First, this way of turning down a second date lets the person asking you out know that you enjoyed your first date together.
Second, it provides a clear reason for why you are too busy to go on another date now.
And finally, it makes a clear plan for you to follow moving forward by establishing that you will get in touch when things settle back down for you.
10. That’s so kind. I really enjoyed our conversation. Unfortunately, I’m moving abroad for six months. I will get back in contact when I’m back home again and we can give things a go then if you’re still single.
Some kinds of busy are more busy than other kinds of busy.
Being preoccupied by a stressful work week still leaves you with more availability than moving to a different country does.
If you meet someone you really like right before you’re about to be transferred abroad for work, or right before you go to live away for the summer, let them know that you would like to see where things go, but that you won’t be in the country for a little while.
Suggest getting back in touch when you’re in the same place again to let the person you’re seeing know that you aren’t using your time abroad as a way to get out of a date.
How to say no to a second date after a terrible first date
The worst-case scenario in which you would want to say no to a second date is when the first one was terrible.
If someone you went on a date with treated you disrespectfully, you certainly don’t owe it to them to turn them down with kid gloves, let alone to go on another date with them.
Here are a few ways you might approach saying no to another date with someone you didn’t like at all.
11. Oh, I’m sorry but no. I didn’t appreciate how you spoke to me on our first date, and I don’t think we’re compatible at all.
If you went on a date with someone who was actively rude to you, you don’t need to spend too much time trying to spare their feelings when you turn them down.
Say it like it is and let them know you didn’t appreciate their behavior on your last date.
12. I’m surprised you’re asking me that considering how our last date ended. Sorry, but I’m not interested in you.
It can be particularly surprising when someone you had a bad date with asks you out again.
You might find yourself wondering how they could think that the date went well enough for you to want to go out with them again.
If, for example, you spent your evening last time wondering how long a date should last and champing at the bit to leave the restaurant, then you should say no to a second date unequivocally.
Leave the person asking you out in no doubt about where you stand on getting to know them better.
13. Are you serious? You were so rude to me on our first date. I don’t want to date you. Please don’t contact me again.
There are bad dates and then there are awful date.
If the person asking you on a second date was actively rude to you on your first one, tell them in no uncertain terms that you absolutely do not want to date them.
Asking them not to contact you again makes your position on the relationship between the two of you even clearer.
14. Unfortunately, I can’t see this going anywhere, so I’m going to have to say no.
If you had a bad date because the person you were seeing was harmless but clueless, you can take a bit more care when rejecting them for a second date.
Be clear about your feelings so there is no chance of a misunderstanding, but don’t worry about protecting them from taking any offense.
After all, they’re an adult, this is the real world, and they’re going to have to learn the reality about the ways people respond when someone asks them out.
15. Thank you for asking me, but I think it would be best if we just left things.
If you have no hard feelings, but just don’t want to see someone again because the date you went on wasn’t enjoyable, thank them for asking you out but make it clear you want to leave things as they are.
This response to someone asking you on a second date is straightforward and honest. And at the end of the day, what more can anyone ask for?
16. I didn’t have a very good time on our first date, so no.
If you are someone with a fairly blunt personality, don’t be afraid to showcase it when someone asks you out on a second date that you don’t want to go on.
Simply saying that you don’t want to go on a second date because you didn’t enjoy the first one will allow you to avoid having to explain your reasons for not wanting to see someone again.
Hey, it’s me, Steven. Dating and relationships have always fascinated me. On Dategosu, you will find my best tips to make sure your next date is a great success!