No one likes to be called dramatic. In fact, as far as offensive things to be called goes, “dramatic” is probably right up there with “crazy.”
And we all know that men really need to stop calling women crazy.
In fact, let’s just all agree to leave that word behind altogether.
When someone calls you dramatic, they are essentially saying that your concerns are not valid and that you are blowing the situation out of proportion.
They are suggesting that any hurt, anger, frustration, or sadness you might be feeling is in fact your fault for overreacting.
It can be incredibly difficult when someone you care about — whether that person is a crush or a long-term partner — calls you dramatic, since it suggests that they do not take your feelings seriously.
Here is a comprehensive guide for how to respond when someone calls you dramatic, tailored to a wide variety of situations.
21 ways to respond when someone calls you dramatic
- It hurts my feelings that you aren’t taking my concerns seriously.
- I feel like you are being condescending when you call me dramatic.
- Do you not think my concerns are valid?
- It’s such a turn off that you just said that.
- I’m so disappointed that this is how you’ve chosen to respond
- If you’re going to invalidate my emotions, I don’t think I want to hang out with you anymore.
- You don’t have much capacity for self-reflection, do you?
- Says you.
- That really upsets me.
- That’s a really mean thing to say.
- I can’t believe that, even after all our years together, you still think it’s acceptable to tell me I’m being dramatic.
- Are you seriously calling me dramatic right now?
- I’m really not. You’re just not listening to what I’m saying.
- Do not understand where I’m coming from?
- Do you really think you haven’t made a mistake?
- How can you say that to me?
- Do you think so? Okay, that makes me feel better.
- I don’t appreciate that language. My response to this situation is measured and rational.
- That’s highly disrespectful. Please refrain from saying things like that to me in the future.
- I will not tolerate being called dramatic in a professional setting when I am raising valid concerns.
- I don’t appreciate your condescension. Please rephrase that.
How to respond when your crush calls you dramatic
1. It hurts my feelings that you aren’t taking my concerns seriously.
The thing about being called dramatic, is that it is patronizing. It assumes that you are not actually aware of the magnitude of the situation you find yourself in.
By telling you that your reaction is over the top, the person you are speaking to is suggesting that you are not capable of correctly assessing the significance of a situation.
All of this becomes even more frustrating when the person who is calling you dramatic is someone you are dating or have been crushing on.
Hearing someone you thought you liked say you’re dramatic might even give you the ick.
What is the ick? Essentially it is a feeling of being put off by somebody.
If you have the ick with someone, you start to find everything they do irritating. Unfortunately, once you have the ick it is hard to get rid of and it often leads people to wonder what to respond to “I love you” when one doesn’t feel the same.
Example:
B: It hurts my feelings that you aren’t taking my concerns seriously.
2. I feel like you are being condescending when you call me dramatic.
Let’s say you’ve been on a few dates with someone, and things seem to be going well. You decide you want to open up a bit more and share a story about your friendship group with them.
However, when you start to describe your feelings about something that one of your friends said to you, the person you’re seeing tells you they don’t think the strength of your reaction is warranted.
When you follow up on this and ask what they mean, they tell you they think you’re being dramatic.
Now, what should you do?
The best thing to do when a crush calls you dramatic in a context like this is to tell them honestly that you found what they just said condescending.
Because let’s face it, they only thing more patronizing than being called dramatic is when someone calls you “honey.”
Example:
B: I feel like you are being condescending when you call me dramatic.
3. Do you not think my concerns are valid?
Another approach you might take if someone you are romantically interested in calls you dramatic is to ask them whether they think your feelings are legitimate and rational.
So, if you’ve communicated something about how you’re feeling and your crush calls you dramatic, ask them if they understand where you’re coming from.
Example:
B: Do you not think my concerns are valid?
4. It’s such a turn off that you just said that.
If hearing someone you thought you might have feelings for call you dramatic just absolutely ruins the mood and makes you feel like you’re losing interest in them, tell them how what they’ve just said has affected you.
Example:
B: It’s such a turn off that you just said that.
5. I’m so disappointed that this is how you’ve chosen to respond
Expressing disappointment with someone calling you dramatic is a good idea when the subject under discussion is the relationship between the two of you.
If you are raising what you feel are valid concerns about your relationship to the person you want to build a romantic future with and they call you dramatic, you can let them know how disappointed you feel by their response.
Example:
B: I’m so disappointed that this is how you’ve chosen to respond.
6. If you’re going to invalidate my emotions, I don’t think I want to hang out with you anymore.
If things have been going fairly well between you and your crush up until this point and it had been implied that you might be heading toward a relationship, tell them you won’t stand to have your reaction minimalized or laughed at.
If they want to continue to pursue the potential of a future together, they will know that they have to seriously reconsider using the word “dramatic” when discussing your feelings.
Example:
B: If you’re going to invalidate my emotions, I don’t think I want to hang out with you anymore.
7. You don’t have much capacity for self-reflection, do you?
If you feel very hurt that your crush has called you dramatic and want to push back to show that you are not a doormat, you could criticize their ability to reflect on their behavior.
By phrasing this criticism as a question, you not only give it a slightly teasing tone, but you also give the person you’re speaking to room to respond.
If they want to apologize, this question gives them the perfect opportunity to do so.
Example:
B: You don’t have much capacity for self-reflection, do you?
8. Says you.
If your crush is being just as dramatic or reactive as you, you can call them out on their hypocrisy.
“Says you,” is a great, concise response that sends the message that you think the pot is calling is calling the kettle black and that the person you’re speaking to would benefit from taking a long hard look in the mirror.
Example:
B: Says you.
9. That really upsets me.
If your predominant emotion at being called dramatic is sadness or hurt, you don’t have to try to sugarcoat what you’re feeling and come up with a witty quip.
Instead, just informing the person who is supposed to care for you and be interested in your happiness that they have upset you will suffice.
Example:
B: That really upsets me.
10. That’s a really mean thing to say.
Another response that gets the same message across is to say that your crush calling you dramatic is actually very unkind and insensitive.
If you would never call someone dramatic for fear of hurting their feelings, you are allowed to be sad that this same consideration isn’t being extended to you.
The best way to let the person you’re speaking to know that you’ve been upset by their lack of consideration is simply to tell them that what they said was mean.
Example:
B: That’s a really mean thing to say.
How to respond when your partner calls you dramatic
While it is certainly hurtful when someone you have a crush on calls you dramatic, it is even more frustrating and saddening when a long-term partner calls you dramatic.
As your partner, they know you very well. It can therefore sometimes feel like their calling you dramatic is in fact a comment about your personality in general, rather than just about your current reaction.
While it might be tempting to snap back a spiteful response, try to stay measured.
Remember that you have a long history with this person and that they love you. They have simply chosen their words poorly.
11. I can’t believe that, even after all our years together, you still think it’s acceptable to tell me I’m being dramatic.
Let’s get real. If you’ve been with someone for multiple years, there will be very few words that haven’t come up at one point or another.
How your partner wouldn’t know that you wouldn’t appreciate being called dramatic might be completely beyond you.
If you want to get across how disappointed you are in their word choice, spell it out by saying that you don’t understand how, despite your multiple years together, they don’t know that you would be offended by them calling you dramatic.
Incidentally, one of the only things that makes being called dramatic worse, is when a guy calls you “baby” before he does.
Example:
B: I can’t believe that after all our years together, you still think it’s acceptable to tell me I’m being dramatic.
12. Are you seriously calling me dramatic right now?
If you want to express disbelief that the person who is supposed to be your life partner and support system is invalidating your feelings by calling you dramatic, ask them if they are seriously doing what they are.
Example:
B: Are you seriously calling me dramatic right now?
13. I’m really not. You’re just not listening to what I’m saying.
If you feel that your partner is calling you dramatic to avoid having to make a genuine effort to understand your point, then you can call them out for not listening to you.
This response conveys frustration at being invalidated and at having your concerns dismissed and ignored.
Hopefully it will inspire your partner to reconsider and try harder to understand what you’re trying say.
Example:
B: I’m really not. You’re just not listening to what I’m saying.
14. Do not understand where I’m coming from?
This is another response that gets across the point that you would like your partner to try harder to understand your perspective.
In many ways, asking someone whether they understand where you’re coming from is asking whether they are genuinely interested in connecting with you.
If someone is not trying to understand your position on an issue, they are not putting effort into your relationship.
So, if your partner calls you dramatic, you can ask them whether they really don’t see why you’re making the point that you are.
This will surely trigger an awareness in them that they should be putting in more effort to at least attempting to understand your feelings.
Example:
B: Do you not understand where I’m coming from?
15. Do you really think you haven’t made a mistake?
If you are being criticized for reacting strongly to something your partner has done, then you can ask them whether they really think their behavior was okay.
This will force them to reflect on whether your reaction is over the top, or whether it is proportionate to the thing they did that triggered it.
Example:
B: Do you really think you haven’t made a mistake?
16. How can you say that to me?
If your partner calls you dramatic and you just can’t believe that they have said that word to you, just ask them how they could do that.
They’ll understand loud and clear that you aren’t happy with their choice of word and with their general attitude.
Hopefully on reflection, they will apologize and the two of you can talk things through.
And just because you aren’t speaking face-to-face doesn’t mean the person you’re talking to can’t think about how to respond to their girlfriend over text. Basically, you are entitled to an apology, whichever way it may come.
Example:
B: How can you say that to me?
17. Do you think so? Okay, that makes me feel better.
Sometimes, your partner might use the word “dramatic” to describe your reaction or interpretation in a way that is intended to comfort you.
In these cases, it is of course much more important to react to their sentiment than anything else.
And who knows, it may well actually be comforting to be told that your perception of a situation is not true to life.
If you are an anxious person who tends to assume the worst-case scenario, your partner may know that if they describe your thoughts about something using a word that implies an overreaction, you will realize that things aren’t as bad as they seem to you.
Make sure you thank your partner for trying to make you feel better. Comforting someone is really another way of showing appreciation, so think about how to respond to someone telling you they appreciate you. Then do this.
Example:
B: Do you think so? Okay, that makes me feel better.
How to respond when a stranger or colleague calls you dramatic
Being called dramatic by a crush or partner may be hurtful and aggravating but being called dramatic by a stranger or colleague who should not be being familiar with you can be absolutely infuriating.
If someone you don’t know all that well calls you dramatic, take a deep breath and collect yourself.
Then, in as few words as possible, explain why their use of that word to describe your conduct is wholly inappropriate and disrespectful.
Here are a few ways you might go about this.
18. I don’t appreciate that language. My response to this situation is measured and rational.
Express first and foremost that you don’t like the language the person you’re talking to has used.
Then, defend your reaction and assert that it is a valid response to the situation at hand.
Example:
B: I don’t appreciate that language. My response to this situation is measured and rational.
19. That’s highly disrespectful. Please refrain from saying things like that to me in the future.
If you are less concerned about actually defending your response and want to focus your attention on making clear that you will not tolerate being called dramatic again, then tell the person you’re speaking to that their comment was disrespectful.
Politely ask them not to make comments of this kind again.
Example:
B: That’s highly disrespectful. Please refrain from saying things like that to me in the future.
20. I will not tolerate being called dramatic in a professional setting when I am raising valid concerns.
This response stresses the importance of the setting you’re in.
If you’re at work and someone calls your response to a professional matter dramatic, you can bite back with this cool, collected answer.
Tell them you won’t tolerate the kind of language they used to refer to you and then defend the point you were making.
Example:
B: I will not tolerate being called dramatic in a professional setting when I am raising valid concerns.
21. I don’t appreciate your condescension. Please rephrase that.
There are no two ways about it: being called dramatic makes you feel condescended to.
If a stranger calls you dramatic, tell them you don’t like being talked down to and then ask them to re-word their point.
Hopefully they will realize they were being rude and will just apologize for intruding on your personal space.
Example:
B: I don’t appreciate your condescension. Please rephrase that.
Hey, it’s me, Steven. Dating and relationships have always fascinated me. On Dategosu, you will find my best tips to make sure your next date is a great success!