Telling your parents about your romantic relationship can be one of the most difficult and awkward conversations there is.
Some people are lucky and have easy-going parents. However, there are plenty of parents out there who are strict when it comes to dating. This is especially the case in religious or conservative families.
Some parents don’t like the idea of their children having romantic partners at too young an age.
Regardless of what your parents are like, there is a way you can approach them with the news about your relationship that will at least soften them up, if not inspire them to welcome your girlfriend into the family with open arms.
Here are a few suggestions for how to approach this difficult chat.
20 ways to tell your parents you have a girlfriend
- Hi, could we sit down for a second? I have something to tell you. I have a girlfriend.
- So, I wanted to let you know that I’ve met someone special.
- There’s a girl in my life who I would really like to introduce you to.
- I’ve met the most wonderful girl and she’s agreed to be my girlfriend. When the right time comes, I’d love for you to meet her.
- It’s not a big deal, but I’ve met someone I really care about, and we’ve decided to start a relationship. Could we invite her over for dinner sometime so that you can meet her?
- I know that you don’t feel comfortable with me dating, but I still want to be honest with you about my life, so I’m going to let you know that I have a girlfriend.
- Don’t you think it is a good thing to be committed to someone you love? Well, I think it is, which is why I’ve asked Imani to be my girlfriend.
- Do you know Anna from church? We connected through our mutual love of God, and we’ve decided to start a relationship.
- I know that you grew up in a different time and cultural context, in which it wasn’t normal for people my age to have romantic relationships publicly. However, I need you to understand the context I live in and support me in making decisions that fit in here.
- I know that this is a difficult topic for you, but I would really love it if you could be supportive of me about this. I have a girlfriend.
- What would you think if I asked a girl to be my girlfriend?
- Can I go on a date this weekend?
- My friend Sally and I are going to go to the movies tonight.
- Can I invite a girl to our house for dinner tomorrow? She’s my girlfriend and I really want you to meet her.
- It’s important to me that I can always be honest with you, so I wanted to tell you that I have a girlfriend.
- How old were you both when you had your first relationships?
- You know how you’ve always told me that friendship is the basis of your relationship? Well, my best friend is Sophie and I’ve actually realized recently that I have feelings for her, so I asked her to be my gilfriend.
- Hey guys, I met the best girl ever and she’s agreed to be my girlfriend. Can I introduce you to her sometime?
- I won’t be here for dinner; I’m actually going on a date with my new girlfriend.
- You’ll never believe what I did today? I asked out a great girl and she said yes!
How to tell your parents you have a girlfriend if you’re serious about her
Many people choose not to tell their parents about their girlfriends unless they have serious feelings for them.
After all, why put everyone through the awkwardness of introducing themselves to each other if you know it isn’t going to work out in the long term.
There’s nothing wrong with waiting to introduce your girlfriend to your family until you feel fair certain that you could really see this relationship going the distance.
If you find yourself in a situation where you keep wanting to tell your parents stories about your life that involve your girlfriend, then it’s probably time to lift the seal on the secret and let them know what’s going on.
However, just because you decide it’s time to tell them, doesn’t mean it isn’t intimidating. To help you out, here are a few suggestions for ways you could get the conversation started.
1. Hi, could we sit down for a second? I have something to tell you. I have a girlfriend.
To let your parents know that you’re about to tell them something worth paying attention to, ask them if they could sit down for a second.
Wait until they’re seated, and then come right out with the facts of the matter: You have a girlfriend.
Hopefully they will be happy for you and the conversation can progress naturally from there.
2. So, I wanted to let you know that I’ve met someone special.
This is a good opening line if you want to tell your parents you have a girlfriend. They will be on instant alert to see what you will say next.
Also, by starting off the conversation mentioning that the person you’re talking about is special, you’re letting your parents know that you are serious about this girl and, as a result, they will be more likely to show you their support.
3. There’s a girl in my life who I would really like to introduce you to.
This simple one-sentence announcement will be sure to intrigue your parents.
By putting them at the center of the conversation by telling them that you want to introduce someone to them, you are actively involving them in your relationship from the first mention of it.
This will make them feel included by your girlfriend rather than excluded by her, which may go a long way towards establishing a positive vibe between your parents and girlfriend.
4. I’ve met the most wonderful girl and she’s agreed to be my girlfriend. When the right time comes, I’d love for you to meet her.
Telling your parents about your relationship in these terms will make it clear just how much you like the girl talking about.
This is good information for them to have before making any judgements or asking any questions about your relationship.
By telling them you want them to meet her when the right time comes, you’re letting them know that it is important to you that they all have a relationship.
They will surely be glad to hear this. One of the main reasons parents respond badly to news that one of their children has a partner, is that they fear the partner will somehow steal their child away from them.
Clarifying that that is nothing to worry about right in the beginning never hurts.
5. I’ve met someone I really care about, and we’ve decided to start a relationship. Could we invite her over for dinner sometime so that you can meet her?
If you live with your parents and want to have a relationship, the reality is that you’re going to have to tell them about it.
Otherwise, you’ll never be able to spend time with your girlfriend at your house unless they’re away. That will severely restrict the time you get to spend with your significant other.
Not to mention, if you don’t tell your parents about your girlfriend, she may start to feel that you are embarrassed of her.
Trust me, that’s not a road you want to go down.
How to tell your parents you have a girlfriend if they are strict
The question of how to tell your parents you have a girlfriend is probably of greatest interest to people whose parents are strict.
They may be strict because they are socially conservative for religious reasons, or simply because the culture they were raised in is not accepting of having relationships with people of the opposite gender before marriage.
Or they may be their own unique brand of strict.
Whatever the situation, you’re in a tough spot. That said, don’t become disheartened.
First and foremost, remember that this is your life, and you are allowed to live it according to your own judgements and values.
Second, even the strictest parents have been known to come around to accepting their children’s relationships if approached in the right way.
Studies have shown that having overbearing parents can lead to long term struggles with relationships, so your health and happiness is on the line. Don’t be afraid to assert your right to make your own romantic decisions.
Here are a few ways you could get the ball rolling when talking to strict parents about a relationship.
6 I know that you don’t feel comfortable with me dating, but I still want to be honest with you about my life, so I’m going to let you know that I have a girlfriend.
Acknowledging that you understand your parents’ position on the issue of dating will pre-empt them having to express it all over again.
Then, let them know that even though you know what they think, you value being honest with them and so are going to talk to them about this subject regardless.
Finally, finish your point by coming right out and saying that you have a girlfriend.
7. Don’t you think it is a good thing to be committed to someone you love? Well, I think it is, which is why I’ve asked Imani to be my girlfriend.
Another tactic you could employ when discussing your relationship with your strict parents, is to point out that there are worse alternatives to your behavior.
By twisting their arms into agreeing that commitment is a good thing, you’re showing them that you could also just be sleeping around or breaking people’s hearts by telling them you aren’t ready for a relationship, and instead you’re being a loving and dedicated partner.
While this may not change their stance on the issue overnight, it is sure to make an impression over time.
8. Do you know Anna from church? We connected through our mutual love of God, and we’ve decided to start a relationship.
One way to try to bring religious parents round to your cause, is to let them know that your partner is also religious.
While you should only use this strategy if your girlfriend is actually religious (otherwise, you may find yourself getting caught in a web of lies), this will surely soften your parents up to the idea of your relationship.
9. I know that you grew up in a different time and cultural context, in which it wasn’t normal for people my age to have romantic relationships publicly. However, I need you to understand the context I live in and support me in making decisions that fit in here.
If you want to put all your cards on the table and have a real conversation about the issue at hand, why not tell your parents that while you can empathize with the fact that their upbringing was different to yours, you would like the same respect in return.
You are allowed to live your life according to the standards and norms of the society you live in, and you can assert your right to do this to your parents.
Whether they choose to support you or not, you can walk away knowing that you’ve tried to be as fair as possible.
10. I know that this is a difficult topic for you, but I would really love it if you could be supportive of me about this. I have a girlfriend.
If you want to acknowledge the difficult feelings your strict parents may have about the news that you have a girlfriend, but don’t want to go as deep as you might have to if you opted for the previous sample answer, why not try saying something like this.
Simply ask for their support. They can then choose whether or not they feel up to giving it. Regardless of the outcome, you’ve tried your hardest to respect their boundaries and it is now their turn to respect yours.
How to tell your parents you have a girlfriend if you are a teenager
Some parents take particular issue with their teenage children having romantic relationships. In fairness to them, they are just looking out for you.
They don’t want you to get hurt and to have to deal with thinking about how to respond to a breakup text.
Remember, they’ve been where you are, so their hesitation in welcoming the news about your relationship may be based on the experiences they had at your age.
Keep in mind that an abstract girlfriend is often a far more threatening prospect to them than a girl they’ve actually met! So, endeavor to introduce your girlfriend to them as soon as you can, or start by introducing her as a friend.
Once they have met her and warmed to her, they will surely be much more accepting of the fact that you two are an item.
After all, most parents know that they’re going to have to talk to teens about dating at some point, so why not introduce the topic yourself?
11. What would you think if I asked a girl to be my girlfriend?
This is a way to test the waters with a hypothetical before actually bringing up your real-life girlfriend. If your parents freak out, maybe give them a bit more time before telling them about your relationship.
However, if they seem calm and supportive, you can say, “Well, actually, I did ask a girl to be my girlfriend and she said yes.”
12. Can I go on a date this weekend?
This is another way to test the waters of your parents’ reaction. If they agree, you can tell them the date is actually with your girlfriend and that you can’t wait to introduce them to her sometime.
13. My friend Sally and I are going to go to the movies tonight.
Girls are less threatening to parents as soon as they’ve met them. So instead of telling your parents about some abstract girlfriend, introduce them to your friend Sally.
They’ll get to know Sally and you can continue to mention nice things Sally does and what a good person she makes you.
Then, once you’re sure your parents are quite fond of her, you can let them know that you’ve asked her to be your girlfriend. In all likelihood, they’ll be happy for you.
14. Can I invite a girl to our house for dinner tomorrow? She’s my girlfriend and I really want you to meet her.
Most parents of teenagers just want to be included in their lives.
By asking if you can introduce them to your girlfriend in the same breath as you tell them she exists, you’re making clear that you aren’t trying to hide anything and that you want to tell them openly about your life.
15. It’s important to me that I can always be honest with you, so I wanted to tell you that I have a girlfriend.
By starting the conversation emphasizing how important it is to you to be honest with you parents, you’re buttering them up for the news about your partner.
They will be happy that you have decided to be honest with them but may be wary about what you have told them.
That said, you’re increasing your chances of a positive response if you open with a line about honesty.
16. How old were you both when you had your first relationships?
If, as a teenager, you’re looking for a way to tell your parents you have a girlfriend, why not appeal to their memories of their younger selves?
If you suspect that when you let them know about the girl in your life they will mention your young age, why not see if you can avoid this by potentially pointing out that they also had relationships at or around your age.
Once your parents have answered, you can say something like, “Oh, so around my age! That’s funny, because I’ve actually just asked a girl to be my girlfriend.”
How to tell your parents you have a girlfriend if they are easy-going
Ah the lucky few whose parents are down to earth and not sensitive about their children’s dating lives.
If your parents are not particularly strict and have never given you any reason to believe they would have a problem with you dating, then you can come right out and tell them about your girlfriend as though you were telling a friend.
After all, if you’re in a relationship, you’ll probably be sitting around smiling while responding to heart emojis or texts that say you’re sweet, and your parents will surely pick up on the fact that something is going on. Why not get it all out in the open before they have to play relationship detective?
17. You know how you’ve always told me that friendship is the basis of your relationship? Well, my best friend is Sophie and I’ve actually realized recently that I have feelings for her, so I asked her to be my girlfriend.
A nice way to tell your parents about your girlfriend is to connect your relationship back to theirs.
For example, if they’ve always told you that friendship is an essential part of a romantic relationship, then you can show them you have been paying attention and that you value their advice by telling them it is part of your motivation for asking out your current girlfriend.
18. Hey guys, I met the best girl ever and she’s agreed to be my girlfriend. Can I introduce you to her sometime?
Offering to introduce you parents to your girlfriend in the same breath as you tell them about her is sure to make them more willing to react positively to the news about your new partner.
If your parents are laid back, you probably won’t have to worry about their disapproval, but they will likely be very keen to meet your girlfriend, and you’ll put them at ease by letting you know you want that too.
19. I won’t be here for dinner; I’m actually going on a date with my new girlfriend.
If your parents are relatively chill, you also don’t have to plan out a big conversation to tell them about your new relationship.
Instead, you can just wait until it comes up naturally in conversation.
If your mother asks you if you’ll be around for dinner and you won’t because you’re going on a date, then this is a great opportunity to casually let her know about your new relationship.
20. You’ll never believe what I did today? I asked out a great girl and she said yes!
If you’re close with your parents and you want to tell them about your girlfriend so that they can share in your happiness, why not come right out and enthusiastically tell them about your partner right away!
Your enthusiasm and happiness will certainly make them happy too.
Hey, it’s me, Steven. Dating and relationships have always fascinated me. On Dategosu, you will find my best tips to make sure your next date is a great success!