There is nothing more exciting than the honeymoon stage of a new relationship.
And before two people establish themselves as a couple come all the exciting firsts. You meet someone. You like them. You get talking and start to realize that the feeling you have might be mutual.
Whether you meet in person or on a dating app, which is now the most popular way U.S couples meet, the play is essentially the same.
Once both people feel that there might be a vibe between you, someone has to make the first move. Usually, this involves one person asking the other out on a date.
Here are a range of ways you might respond when someone asks you out. This list features ways you can respond if you’re all in, ways you can respond if you’re cautious, and ways you can respond if you’re really just not interested at all.
How to Respond when Someone Asks You Out
- Oh wow, I’d love to do that.
- That sounds great. We never seem to run out of stuff to talk about, so I can’t wait to have a bit of alone time to continue all the conversations we’ve started.
- I’m so touched that you asked me. Yes, I’m definitely up for getting together.
- I’ve been hoping you might ask me that. And yes, absolutely!
- That sounds really fun. I’m excited to have a chance to get to know you a little bit better.
- I’m so glad you asked me, I’ve been wondering whether I should ask you out all week.
- Really? I’d love to do that with you.
- Let’s do it, that sounds fun.
- Oh, absolutely. Thanks for asking me!
- I’m so flattered, thank you. And yes, I absolutely accept.
- Oh, sure. If nothing else, we know we enjoy talking to each other, so if it doesn’t progress romantically, we’ll just be furthering our friendship.
- Why not? That sounds like fun. Could we agree not to put too much pressure on it though? Let’s just call it hanging out as friends and see what happens from there.
- I’m in! I have to warn you that I just got out of a relationship and I’m not sure how much I have to offer romantically just now. I’d still like to go because I really enjoy your company.
- Thanks for asking me. Unfortunately, I don’t see you that way. I really appreciate the offer though.
- Hey, I’m really flattered. I’m not really looking for anything romantic right now, but if you’d like to go as friends, I would be up for that.
- Thanks for the offer. Unfortunately, I’m not interested.
- That’s so kind of you. I’m going to have to politely decline because I don’t see this going anywhere, but I appreciate your thoughtful invitation.
How to respond when someone you like asks you out
Depending on your age and circumstances––including where you live and what kinds of things you’re into––this usually involves anything from a trip to the cinema, to grabbing drink at a local bar, to a hike, to a full-blown fancy dinner.
Regardless of what you’re being asked to go do, the sentiment the person asking you out is expressing is the same. What they’re saying is that they like you and would like to see whether there is the potential for a romantic relationship.
If you like someone, the best thing you can do when they ask you out is show enthusiasm. This lets them know that you are also interested in getting to know them better and that you will be looking forward to your upcoming date.
Here are a few ways you could respond when someone you like asks you out.
1. Oh wow, I’d love to do that.
This is a simple, from-the-heart response that gets across the excitement you feel that the person you like has asked you out.
Saying you would love to do something demonstrates a genuine interest not only in the activity that has been proposed but also in the person you’ll be going with.
Example:
A: Hey, I’ve been wanting to ask you, do you want to go to see the new Jackson Sisters film with me on Wednesday?
B: Oh wow, I’d love to do that.
2. That sounds great. We never seem to run out of stuff to talk about, so I can’t wait to have a bit of alone time to continue all the conversations we’ve started.
One of the things that motivates people to ask out the person they like is the simple desire to spend time alone with them.
Whatever context you’ve gotten to know each other in, there are likely always other people around getting in the way of the talks you would really like to be having.
If someone asks you out, they are expressing their desire to spend time alone with just you, which, if you think about it, is very flattering.
Return the sentiment by accepting the offer of a date. Express how excited you are to finish all the conversations that the two of you have started.
Example:
A: Hey, any chance you’re free to grab a drink with me on Saturday evening?
B: That sounds great. We never seem to run out of stuff to talk about, so I can’t wait to have a bit of alone time to continue all the conversations we’ve started.
3. I’m so touched that you asked me. Yes, I’m definitely up for getting together.
One thing that is nice to express when someone asks you out is that you are touched by the offer.
It takes a lot of courage to ask someone on a date. The person asking you will undoubtedly have been nervous before they made their move, so reward their bravery by telling them that you are happy and moved that they have asked you out.
Example:
A: Would you be interested in letting me take you out for dinner on Friday?
B: I’m so touched that you asked me. Yes, I’m definitely up for getting together.
4. I’ve been hoping you might ask me that. And yes, absolutely!
If you ask someone out, one of the main things you might like to hear is that you were not the only one interested in making the date happen.
So, if someone asks you out after you’ve spent a week wondering whether they will or won’t, let them know that you were hoping they would ask you.
Example:
A: I’ve been wanting ask you this for a while now. Would you like to grab dinner together sometime?
B: I’ve been hoping you might ask me that. And yes, absolutely!
5. That sounds really fun. I’m excited to have a chance to get to know you a little bit better.
If you think that what the person you’re talking to has proposed for a date just genuinely sounds like something you would have a great time doing, tell them what they’ve suggested sounds really fun.
For example, if you’re an enthusiastic hiker and the person you’re interested in asks you if you’d like to go for a hike with them, then why not tell them it sounds like a great time?
Example:
A: Hey, would you be interested in doing a hike together one of these weekends?
B: That sounds really fun. I’m excited to have a chance to get to know you a little bit better.
6. I’m so glad you asked me, I’ve been wondering whether I should ask you out all week.
If someone asks you out after you’ve just spent a while wondering whether you should make a move, it feels only fair to tell them where you head has been at so they can know just how mutual the feelings are.
No need to make a big show and dance about how you feel the same. Just tell the person you’re talking to that you’ve been considering making a move yourself and that you’re glad they decided to.
Example:
A: Would you like to go out with me sometime?
B: I’m so glad you asked me, I’ve been wondering whether I should ask you out all week.
7. Really?! I’d love to do that with you.
Sometimes when someone asks the person they like out, they ask the broad question, “Would you like to out with me?”
Other times, however, they will invite their crush to a very specific event.
If the person you like asks you to attend something specific with them––say, for example, a sporting event or a dance––it is nice to express surprise at the invitation and to confirm that you would like to do that specific thing.
Example:
A: Is there any chance you want to come to the Patriots game with me on Sunday?
B: Really?! I’d love to do that with you.
8. Let’s do it, that sounds fun.
Showing genuine excitement and a willingness to commit to an event when someone asks you out always goes down well.
If your crush asks you if you’re up for getting together sometime, keep the tone light by responding with an easy-going “Let’s do it.”
Example:
A: Would you want to get tickets to that waterpark sometime? I think we would have a great time if we went together.
B: Let’s do it, that sounds fun.
9. Oh, absolutely. Thanks for asking me!
Thanking someone for inviting you out never goes amiss. In fact, thanking people for most things just shows that you are a considerate person.
If someone asks you on a date and you want to go, you can respond by first showing the level of your enthusiasm with an “Absolutely.” Then, following this up with a quick “Thanks for asking me!”
Example:
A: Hey there, would you want to get lunch together during our break on Friday?
B: Oh, absolutely. Thanks for asking me!
10. I’m so flattered, thank you. And yes, I absolutely accept.
Dating has become a much more casual affair than it used to be, and nowadays almost anything can be considered a date.
That said, there are still clearly some dates that require more effort than others. If someone is making a big effort to offer you an exciting experience, make sure you thank them appropriately.
Example:
A: Could I treat you to an elegant dinner at the new French restaurant in town on Saturday night?
B: I’m so flattered, thank you. And yes, I absolutely accept.
How to respond when someone asks you out and you aren’t sure you like them
Being asked out by someone you aren’t sure how you feel about is a decidedly less exciting prospect than being asked by someone you have a huge crush on.
That said, if you think there is any potential for things to progress romantically, it is still worth going. Even if you want to maintain a relationship with someone as a friend, there is no harm in accepting a date as long as you are clear about what your feelings are.
Just as long as you don’t end up having to respond to someone saying I love you when you don’t feel the same way, you’re in the clear.
Here are a few ways you could respond when someone you aren’t sure about asks you out.
11. Oh, sure. If nothing else, we know we enjoy talking to each other. So, if it doesn’t progress romantically, we’ll just be furthering our friendship.
This is a good response if you’ve been asked out by someone and aren’t sure whether you see romantic potential in them.
The point of a date is of course to test your compatibility and to assess whether there is mutual interest. This means that you don’t have to know exactly what your feelings are before the date.
However, if you suspect that the person asking you out may have a stronger interest in you than you have in them, it doesn’t hurt to prepare them for the possibility that you will not want to pursue a romantic future.
Example:
A: Do you want to go to that bagel place next door sometime for a date with me?
B: Oh, sure. If nothing else, we know we enjoy talking to each other. So, if it doesn’t progress romantically, we’ll just be furthering our friendship.
12. Why not? That sounds like fun. Could we agree not to put too much pressure on it though? Let’s just call it hanging out as friends and see what happens from there.
This is an easy and honest way to respond when someone asks you out and you aren’t sure how you feel about them.
Telling them that their proposed plan sounds like fun reassures them that you definitely want to go and aren’t doing them any favors.
Then asking for there not to be too much pressure on the situation clarifies that you don’t want to lead them on.
Responding to someone asking you out in this way leaves them in no doubt about where you stand and allows you to enjoy your time with them without having to wonder whether they are getting the wrong impression.
It might be hard for the person asking you out to respond to “I’m not ready for a relationship,” but since you’ve never promised anything, you’re in the clear.
Example:
A: Hey, I was wondering whether you’d like to go for a beer with me tonight?
B: Why not? That sounds like fun. Could we agree not to put too much pressure on it though? Let’s just call it hanging out as friends and see what happens from there.
13. I’m in! I have to warn you that I just got out of a relationship and I’m not sure how much I have to offer romantically just now. I’d still like to go because I really enjoy your company.
The best thing to be when someone asks you out is honest. Just think about the suggested plan as you would any other proposed event.
If you want to go but don’t want to lead on the person asking you out, simply clarify your position regarding getting to know them romantically. Then, tell them you’d like to go because you enjoy hanging out with them.
Remember too that the point of a date is really just to get to know the person you’re going with. You are not saying yes to a marriage proposal or signing some sort of relationship contract.
A good rule of thumb to follow when it comes to responding to people asking you out is that if it sounds like you would enjoy going, there is no reason not to go, as long as you are clear about your feelings from the get-go.
Example:
A: Would you like to come apple picking with me this weekend?
B: I’m in! I have to warn you that I just got out of a relationship and I’m not sure how much I have to offer romantically just now. I’d still like to go because I really enjoy your company.
How to respond when someone asks you out and you aren’t interested
It’s never easy to respond to someone asking you out when you aren’t interested in them, just as it’s never easy to respond to I love you when you don’t feel the same.
Even though it is always your right to turn down a date, being asked out when you don’t want to go can put you in an awkward situation.
The most important thing is to be clear about the fact that you don’t want to go while also showing consideration for the feelings of the person asking you out.
Here are a few ways you could respond to being asked out by someone you don’t think of romantically.
14. Thanks for asking me. Unfortunately, I don’t see you that way. I really appreciate the offer though.
Thanking someone for asking you out shows that you appreciate that asking someone on a date can be a nerve-wracking process.
You don’t need to make a big song and dance about rejecting an offer. A simple, “I don’t see you that way” is more than enough to get your point across.
Example:
A: Do you want to go see the Celtics with me on the weekend?
B: Thanks for asking me. Unfortunately, I don’t see you that way. I really appreciate the offer though.
15. Hey, I’m really flattered. I’m not really looking for anything romantic right now, but if you’d like to go as friends, I would be up for that.
One thing to consider when turning down a date is that there is no need to turn down plans just because the romantic interest isn’t there.
If you’d like to hang out with someone as friends, suggest this to them! Here’s how you might go about doing this.
Example:
A: I’d love to invite you to go see them turn on the Christmas lights on Friday. Do you want to come?
B: Hey, I’m really flattered. I’m not really looking for anything romantic right now, but if you’d like to go as friends, I would be up for that.
16. Thanks for the offer. Unfortunately, I’m not interested.
While it is always good to be as kind as you can when turning down an invitation for a date, there are limits and exceptions to this rule.
Being polite is always a good idea, but if you feel like someone is being pushy or is asking you out in a way that is inappropriate, don’t be afraid to take a harder line.
In any case, it is always kinder to be up front than to put someone in the position of having to figure out how to respond when you finally text back weeks down the line.
Example:
A: So, do you want to come back to my house after we leave the bar?
B: Thanks for the offer. Unfortunately, I’m not interested.
17. That’s so kind of you. I’m going to have to politely decline because I don’t see this going anywhere, but I appreciate your thoughtful invitation.
Some date invites are more formal than others. The more formal the request, the more formal your answer should be. Telling your buddy you’re not up for grabbing a beer is different to telling someone you know through work that you don’t want to go to the ballet with them.
If you receive a relatively formal date invitation, just respond as nicely as you can and thank the person inviting you for their thoughtful offer.
Example:
A: Hi Gemima, would you like to attend the 15th annual gala hosted by my father’s company, HFN Global, with me on Saturday?
B: That’s so kind of you. I’m going to have to politely decline because I don’t see this going anywhere, but I appreciate your thoughtful invitation.
Hey, it’s me, Steven. Dating and relationships have always fascinated me. On Dategosu, you will find my best tips to make sure your next date is a great success!